The Chutzpah of the Ass’ Man

Ring any bells?

The word “Chutzpah” may have its origins in Yiddish, but it is defined these days not by Jews . . . but by our lovely Arab cousins.

At the opening of the Arab League summit in Doha, yesterday, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad lamented the Arabs’ lack of a “real partner in the peace process”. With the new government of the right-wing “Bibi” Netanyahu being sworn-in today, Assad is apparently unhappy with the outcome of Israel’s recent elections.

Well, sorry, Ass’ me old mate. That’s democracy for you. Of course, you wouldn’t know . . . having received 97.99% of the votes in the “referendum” between you and yourself, after your lovely old man snuffed it, back in 2000.

Where do these f*cking Arabs get the nerve . . . ?!

"Hope no one smells it."

And what exactly did Assad have to do to get the top job (and for life)? According to Wikipedia, until becoming President, “his only political role was as head of the Syrian Computer Society.” Wow! Perhaps at school, in Damascus, he even ran the tuck shop.

Despite his early promises of liberalisation, Syrians are no freer today than they were under his power-mad dad, Hafez. And the country has even deeper links with international terror.

I tried explaining to my drinking (and drooling) buddy, in a Tel Aviv bar last night, why it is that I have always found Bashar al-Assad to be so particularly repugnant, even more so than his considerably repugnant mates, Ahmadinejad and Nasrallah. The latter two, whilst undoubtedly vile, at least have the familiarity of the religious fanatic.

Separated from Bashar at birth?

But, even before he opens his mouth, there is just something about Bashar – perhaps those horribly cold eyes, or his uncanny resemblance to Blackadder Goes Forth‘s Captain Darling (right) – that renders irrelevant his British education, smooth suits, and (very) doable missus.

In fact, for Israel to deliver the strategic Golan Heights to the Ass’ Man would be akin to putting a serial paedophile in charge of a kiddies’ paddling pool.

(Incidentally, Ass’, who did the other 2.01% vote for?!)

6 Responses to The Chutzpah of the Ass’ Man

Shuli Meyers | April 1, 2009 at 11:22 am |

Mike,
They are getting better and better…and you are finally following the correct path…before long you will be a MK for the NU.
See you in the Holy Land over Pesach.
Shuli
Michael Benjamin | April 1, 2009 at 1:56 pm |

Admit it.
You are only jealous.
There’s no way that Assad’s team would get relegated
Michael
Harvey Woolf | April 1, 2009 at 2:47 pm |

The rest voted for the missus.
I would have done.
melchettmike | April 1, 2009 at 3:10 pm |

What “would [you] have done”, Harv’ . . . Assad’s missus?
Glad you used the past tense!
melchettmike | June 21, 2009 at 1:15 pm |

I found the following – by Thomas L. Friedman, in a recent New York Times op-ed – pertinent and amusing:

When I reported from Beirut in the 1970s and 1980s, I covered coups and wars. I never once stayed up late waiting for an election result. Elections in the Arab world were a joke — literally. They used to tell this story about Syria’s president, Hafez al-Assad. After a Syrian election, an aide came in and told Assad: “Mr. President, you won 99.8 percent of the votes. It means that only two-tenths of one percent of Syrians didn’t vote for you. What more could ask for?”

Assad answered: “Their names!”
melchettmike | April 30, 2011 at 11:31 pm |

And the Ass’ Man just keeps on killing. But where are the anti-Syria protests in the UK? It makes you sick . . .