Eli Yishai: Cometh the Sabbath, cometh the man

Shkoyach, Eli Yishai! Finally, someone with the principles to stop those immoral chilonim from paying their bills online on Shabbat and chagim (full story). Whatever next with those godless bounders?!  

Following the inspired decision to end Daylight Saving Time a week and a half into September – over a month and a half before Europe and two before the US – so that charedim can have a psychologically easier fast on Yom Kippur (who cares that it now gets dark at half past five?!), I look forward to further ingenious measures from Mr. Yishai to curtail the liberty of secular Israelis, especially in their own homes . . .   

When will he table, for instance, a new law prohibiting the IBA, HOT and Yes from broadcasting on Shabbat and chagim? Or, better still, one forcing Israel Electric to cut off power supply for 24 hours to people who are proved (by a Beit Din, of course) not to be shomer Shabbat? That’ll stop the heathens desecrating Hashem’s Day of Rest by pouring boiling water onto their tea bags!  

Get 'em out! Children protesting deportation, Tel Aviv, June 2010.

I also commend Mr. Yishai’s efforts to deport those four hundred children. After all, who cares that they were born in Israel, are Hebrew speakers, and consider this their home? And what “lessons from the Holocaust”? Many of their parents are even from Africa and a different colour (no offence, Mr. Yishai).  

Seeing as Mr. Yishai is seemingly so intent on turning Israel into a religious state – I can hardly wait! – aren’t the logical next steps to refuse citizenship to Jews who don’t keep mitzvot, and to strip it from sinners already holding it?

And why shouldn’t Mr. Yishai tell chilonim what to do in the privacy of their own homes? After all, apart from building it . . .  oh yeah, and actually working and paying taxes to feed it . . . and, admittedly, sacrificing their sons to defend it . . . apart from all those things, what have the chilonim ever done for this country?   

Kol hakavod, Mr. Yishai! You are surely your teacher’s pupil. And it is people like you who have made Israel what it is . . . or, at least, what it is becoming.  



25 responses to “Eli Yishai: Cometh the Sabbath, cometh the man

  1. interesting point. the problem is where does 1 draw the line. i for example have no issue with israelis being able to pay their council tax online during shabbat. i have a greater issue with the fact that in my local shop in herziliya pituach i purchased (by mistake) a packet of ham. fortunately i realised my error before opening the packet. i have no issue with people being able to watch cable tv on shabbat. i have more of an issue with the fact that some israelis feel the need to do bbq’s on the beach on yom kippur (rather davka to me). when we have a jewish state, filled by jews of varying religous observance, it will also be impossible to please everyone in terms of where to draw the line.

  2. Most excellent point Clive. For me, an outsider, the chutzpah of the ultra orthodox (UO) is of orgasmic intensity. As Mike pointed out so poignantly, the chilonim pay for the ability of the UO to live the work free, take as many holidays/ Holy days as you want lifestyle. They sacrifice there lives and livelihoods to secure the country while the UO vilify them and claim that the security of Israel has nothing to do with Israeli chiloni blood but rather the mercy of the good Lord whose ongoing thirst for the destruction of Jews has been assuaged by the act of a bunch of yeshiva and kollel bochurim arguing over whether a woman should be allowed to marry a Kohen if she happens to fall, straddle manner, on a horse and rupture her holy hymen.

    And the UO do not accept these acts of coerced charity with any semblence humility, frugality or modesty. Rather, they take on with maximum zeal the commandment of pru oravu as would be befitting the most pious of Jew or wild rabbit, and express out on average 12.27 future schnores per family.

    To tell you the truth, I am in awe of this accomplishment. I wonder how much longer this can continue though, for there is always the harsh reality of the laws of economics that even Hashem cannot ignore. Eventually, the exponential growth of the UO will outpace the ability of chilonim to sustain them. My sense is that the likes of Yishai would do well to appease as much as possible the Chilonim and not piss em off if he wants to delay the end game as much as possible.

    No offense intended to Hashem or the UO.

  3. well ali. you make an interesting point, although i find your tone somewhat aggressive. i really dislike the them and us attitude. jews can be so racist, most particularly against our own. did you know for example that there are now a significant number of charedim serving in the IDF? as i said in my previous post, where do we draw the line?

  4. Well Clive – u disappoint. I graded your comment as “excellent” and u reciprocate with a mere “interesting”. Even if this is true, surely you can understand the need for quid pro quo (or whatever the saying is). Therefore, I have no choice but to counter that your response to my comment is ” comprehensible”. However, I will give u an opporunity to upgrade my comment ranking by providing further commentary (on your response).

    My tone was not meant to be “aggressive” but rather humorous with a touch of scathing colored by realism (or reality cojoined with cynicism). I blame your misunderstanding entirely on the tone deafness of this blog (and on Mike by association).

    Next, I hold no “them and us attitude”, only a “them and me attitude” since I hold all people of an equally low opinion – the difference is only on where the character flaw lies. I am sure there is no need for me to deliberate over the character flaws of chiloni Israelis, since I am sure most readers of this blog have already formulated those opinions. Lest, you suspect that I have a superiority complex, please accept my assurances that I am well cognizant of the fact, that in addition to a poor spelling habit, I am a complete degenerate.

    You say “Jews can be so racist, particularily against their own”. I say that Jews ARE (often) racist, and most often not against their own, but rather against Arabs, Blacks, Irish, Poles, Gypsies, non-Jews… It is only those Jews who are so self-determined by their lack of racism to the above groups, that have no choice but to succumb to racism in the form of self hatred. I have searched my soul and found no bigotry to any group (thanks to a college education majoring in liberal arts) just a healthy, fulfilling and pleasurable tendency towards stereotyping.

    I now have the appropriate misgivings about publishing my initial comment after learning that there are ” significant number of Charedim in the IDF”. I would like to recant my comments (please take note Mike) and republish with the following adjustment – replace “UO” with “those UO except for those who have a job, and/or have served ( or plan to ) in the army, and/or use rubbers”.

    With that said, please accept my assurances that I personally do not hold any gudges against any of the above discussed parties, since my life ( being outside Israel) is not in any obvious measurable form affected by their actions (at least not yet!). In addition, despite my sometimes ascerbic tone, I wish love, happiness and wellbeing to all of mankind, bimhara, veyamenu, Omen!!!

  5. Mike, finally a coherent posting! Kol hakavod!

    Secular should allow religious to live their lives and vice-versa, without spite…

  6. hi ali g
    i think your last email was much more to the point. i would love to see a state of israel where everyone gets on, and everyone contributes for the greater good. i should put on record though that “contributing” comes in many forms. the jewish people are stronger for the fact that we have a strong yeshivah system, full of students, perpetuating OUR torah. yes i would like to see charedim doing more to help their brothers. as i said there our ultra orthodox people doing more to contribute. as i said previously there are charedim in the army. we also have rescue organisations like ZAKA whose volunteers come largely from the ultra orthodox community. anyway wishing you shana tova, clive

  7. I applaud Mike’s bravery in speaking out & side w/ Ali. As a non-resident, I realize my needs are secondary, but I think any govenment – anywhere – that caters to the extreme is dangerous to the whole. (I fear this is about to happen here.) If the citzenry chooses to support (to the greater extent) those who desire to limit what the rest of the population does, that’s their choice. Where it impacts me most directly is the takeover of the kotel. 1st the Arabs & the British prevented Jews from free access, now it’s Jews – the ultra-ortho-right – who won’t let the rest of us who don’t share their regressive medieval mindset have equal access. That’s wrong.

  8. Clive, I think you may have missed the irony of my piece.

    You go on to state “that there are now a significant number of charedim serving in the IDF.” From Friday’s Haaretz . . .

    “Currently fewer than 10 percent of eligible Haredi men are conscripted into the Israel Defense Forces annually and the number of those doing national service remains tiny.”

    Even if you consider 10 percent “significant,” Clive, I for one am not going to give the charedi community a collective pat on the back because they are starting to do what nearly every other member of Israeli society has always done.

    As for you, Steve, you snide little man, what you mean is I have “finally” posted something with which you agree! Well, I’ve got news for you, my Messianic Jewish friend, melchett mike is not some wishy-washy, half-Jewish half Christian blog trying to keep soft leftie apologists like you happy! (As the conquering Muslim armies enter TA, what will you tell them . . . ?!)

    If you weren’t melchett mike‘s honorary (i.e., unpaid) graphic designer, I’d tell you to f*ck off back to your shurch . . . or should that be chul?! 😉

  9. “soft leftie apologists like you” … Dang, Mike, I thought you reserved such epithets for me. Now I’m disappointed! 😉

  10. I say down with daylight saving time anyway. If people want an extra hour of light in the summer they can just get up an hour earlier. It doesn’t save on electricity now that most office workers keep their lights on all the time, so what is the point?

    As for online payments, 20% of Israelis aren’t Jewish at all. Why should someone be telling them when they can and cannot pay.

    And besides, Mr Yishai is African – of Morrocan origin if I am not mistaken.

  11. Apart from driving home from work in the dark every day, Geoffrey, don’t you remember those lovely long English summer evenings (and the one-day Lords cricket finals that would finish at eight-something)?

    “And besides, Mr Yishai is African – of Morrocan origin if I am not mistaken.”

    Yes, that is what I was getting at with “no offence, Mr. Yishai” (who’s Tunisian, I believe) . . . bloody hell, I’m far too subtle for you lot! 😉

  12. I was amused that someone above thinks that a yom kippur bbq on the beach is “rather davka”. From my standpoint, being away from the Religious and having a bbq on the beach is “considerate”.

  13. I prefer driving home in the dark.
    It’s easier to spot a car in your blindspot if it has its headlights on.

  14. Good point, Danny: there is a clear belief amongst many frummers – and not just in Israel (though it is, perhaps, most heard here) – that anything that the irreligious do in public which is contrary to halacha/Orthodoxy must be davka! This stems, of course, from the principle that the irreligious must respect the religious unconditionally . . . but without any mutuality or reciprocity whatsoever!

  15. I would like a word for the concept of “accusing someone of being davka when they are simply ignoring the religious agenda”.  Any suggestions?  

  16. A frummare (as in night-)?

    Or, keeping it simple, a twat?!

  17. “accusing someone of being davka when they are simply ignoring the religious agenda”
    Not trying to be petty, but, I’m sure you mean ‘orthodox agenda’.
    Indeed, in my reform congregation we often have ‘shabbat on the beach’ – a friday night service followed by a BBQ.

  18. Would Danny K just be able to turn up for the latter? He prefers his grub to his Friday night service!

  19. “accusing someone of being davka when they are simply ignoring the religious agenda. Not trying to be petty, but, I’m sure you mean ‘orthodox agenda’.”

    Interesting point but I think my original definition of the proposed new word is fair.

    I am sure you will agree with me that Progressive Religious people are less likely to accuse “someone of being davka when they are simply ignoring the religious agenda”. However, I am sure it is still possible and so the definition is still fair even if it were never to be applied to a progressive person.

  20. Yes, if you’re looking for a broad based definition.
    However, with regards to the subject matter in question, and with the repeated usage of the word ‘religious’ on Mike’s blog-orthodox would be, in my opinion, a far more accurate description, than ‘religious’.

  21. On this occasion I fully agree with Mark.

    The problem is that in Hebrew we have only the word Dati, which is variously translated as religious and orthodox. Their opposite being Hiloni, invariably translated as secular.

    However, outside of Israel there are large, if demographically declining, communities such as Conservative, Reform, Liberal etc who see themselves as Religious but not Orthodox. I’m not sure whether in this case the R and O should be capitals or not.

    Their contention is that they do believe in a God and a form of the Jewish religion and are thus religious, however, they do not necessarily do so in an orthodox way.

  22. Mark,

    This particular discussion is about a type of behaviour that all religious people can do and not about differentiating the religious groups from each other.

  23. At the risk of deserting every principle I hold dear, I must agree w/ Daniel. j/k The words dati & religious do, indeed, most often refer to the religiously observant orthodox & carry w/ them the connotation of extremism. That’s not fair to the non-orthodox who consider themselves to be religious. Their practice is for the most part non-invasive. They do not attempt to force anyone to do what they do. They use language that is an invitation, not threatening.

    I think Simon misses the point. It is specifically the hareidi, ultra-orthodox, hassidim, etc. who seem unceasingy engaged in attempts to FORCE everyone to live by their self-imposed standards. That’s wrong, but it’s up to the Israeli voter to stop it, so I beg you to put an end to their efforts to turn Israel into a totalitarian theocracy! It’s also time to develop some new words that more accurately describe the non-invasive religious practices most commonly found in the liberal branches of Judaism.

  24. Greg,

    I agree with your “Agenda” about the difference between “religious” and “orthodox”.

    My point was different. This specific discussion on this specific page was about a behaviour and not to do with your Agenda” .

    Is it necessary that every time the word “religious” crops up, we forget the detail of what we are talking about and instead trot out a monologue on the difference between “religious” and “orthodox”?

    I suggest that Daniel M might be focussing on Mark’s comment and not on the previous half a dozen comments.

    p.s. I am not suggesting you only have one “Agenda”.

  25. “p.s. I am not suggesting you only have one “Agenda”.”

    I certainly hope not … you had me worried there for a moment. 😉 LOL

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