Operation Grandma: Sharp practice, or merely a mensch?

“Oh, I am so sorry,” I comforted my friend on the telephone on Sunday evening, after she informed me that her nonagenarian grandmother had recently passed away.

“Was it sudden?” I enquire, with sensitivity and interest (they say women like those).

“What? Your family had only just bought her a brand new 42 inch LCD TV?”

Grandma’s passing had, clearly, not been anticipated.

“They paid over 4,000 shekels for it, but only want two and a half?”

I sit up.

“When can I come and see it?”

My very own Mivtza Savta (Operation Grandma) was underway . . .

And Savta’s Sharp LC-42SH7E – or, to be completely accurate, LC-42SH7EBK (it is the black model) – is already enjoying pride of place in my living room (with the trusted Sony CRT [see I love my old TV] which accompanied me on aliya way back in January 1996 having been semi-retired to my bedroom).

Do I feel bad? No.

Was it wrong of me to have negotiated the price down even further, to 2,000 shekels? Perhaps.

Then again, I had been thinking in terms of a 50 inch and, thoughtfully, chose not to trouble the bereaving family with the fact – gleaned from hastily conducted Internet research – that the LC-42SH7EBK doesn’t exactly distinguish itself on AV review forums.

Moreover, I had both the respect and decency not to enquire whether Savta was one of those old dears who would have the telly on in the background from dawn till teeth-out time without so much as five minutes on standby (and what could that do to a Liquid Crystal Display?!)

So, far from being a shameless opportunist – like those so-and-sos who could hardly wait until the end of my grandfather’s shiva to enquire about his house – I have done the grieving family a real favour, and might even be a genuine contender for my very own Mensch of the Month award.

The Ashes series “Down Under” gets underway in a couple of weeks’ time, and I am having a private satellite dish installed just to enable me to watch that greatest of sporting rivalries from the comfort of my Melchett couch (while also using the opportunity to finally rid myself of the curse that is HOT). And when Andrew Strauss takes guard for the first ball, or Jimmy Anderson (pictured) charges across my living room wall to deliver it, I will spare a loving, appreciative thought for Savta . . . zichrona livracha.

Ashes to Ashes . . .


13 responses to “Operation Grandma: Sharp practice, or merely a mensch?

  1. M&M, do you think you could write a more factual and less opinion comparison between your new satellite and Hot, when it’s eventually installed? I am quite interested!

    I dont want to dissuade you from writing your normal opinion pieces. If Justin Halpern can earn $1.25bln (approx actual figure) off the “shit my dad says” book/tv series empire then you ought to do as better on your blog because there is no worse shit.

  2. I have a Sharp in the bedroom…better than the bigger LG in the dining room!!

  3. A married man shouldn’t have to watch TV in his bedroom . . .

  4. Depends on what he’s watching and with whom, eh…….

  5. Jeremiah Bullfrog

    Have you managed to locate the new satellite dish from a ‘house of mourning’ ?

  6. Talking of which, Laura, what are you doing reading blogs – even if very good ones 😉 – at 5:28 a.m. on a Raanana morning?!

    And Jeremiah, you cynic! I would always wait until the end of “shloshim” . . .

  7. Can’t imagine why, but your post just reminded me of Poltergeist.

  8. And it reminds of “The Ring”! I can see Zombie סבתה climbing through the screen into your living room, dripping on your floor and clawing at you when you fall asleep in front of it watching the 3rd day of cricket.

    Anyway, it wont even happen as long as you stay awake.

  9. “Ashes to Ashes” – Bloody brilliant lad…..I laughed out loud.

    Melchett Mike is definitely one of the highlights of my week.

    Keep ’em coming.

    Jonny P.

  10. “Melchett Mike is definitely one of the highlights of my week.”

    You clearly need to get out more, Jonny. 😉

  11. can imagine nothing more boring than watching cricket. would seriously consider watching static over cricket.

  12. Caroline Kendal

    Brilliant blog and epitomises true essence of MM

  13. What a fantastic display by England’s cricketers! In 30-odd years as a cricket junkie, I can’t recall anything quite like it from an England side . . . especially against the Aussies.

    Yes, I remember Botham’s Ashes in ’81, “Fat” Gatt’s all-conquering tour Down Under in ’85/6 (after everyone had written his team off), and “Freddiemania” in the summer of ’05 . . . but, for a team performance, nothing comes close to the last 5 days.

    England didn’t just beat the Aussies. No. From Trott’s run out of Katich – or, perhaps, from England’s 2nd innings in Brisbane – it absolutely outplayed Australia in every department of the game.

    In fact, if the Aussies win back the Ashes after that . . . I’ll eat Stuey!

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