Category Archives: Israeli Politics

The Chutzpah of the Ass’ Man

Ring any bells?

Ring any bells?

The word “Chutzpah” may have its origins in Yiddish, but it is defined these days not by Jews . . . but by our lovely Arab cousins.

At the opening of the Arab League summit in Doha, yesterday, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad lamented the Arabs’ lack of a “real partner in the peace process”. With the new government of the right-wing “Bibi” Netanyahu being sworn-in today, Assad is apparently unhappy with the outcome of Israel’s recent elections.

Well, sorry, Ass’ me old mate. That’s democracy for you. Of course, you wouldn’t know . . . having received 97.99% of the votes in the “referendum” between you and yourself, after your lovely old man snuffed it, back in 2000.

Where do these f*cking Arabs get the nerve . . . ?!

"Hope no one smells it!"

"Hope no one smells it."

And what exactly did Assad have to do to get the top job (and for life)? According to Wikipedia, until becoming President, “his only political role was as head of the Syrian Computer Society.” Wow! Perhaps at school, in Damascus, he even ran the tuck shop.

Despite his early promises of liberalisation, Syrians are no freer today than they were under his power-mad dad, Hafez. And the country has even deeper links with international terror.

I tried explaining to my drinking (and drooling) buddy, in a Tel Aviv bar last night, why it is that I have always found Bashar al-Assad to be so particularly repugnant, even more so than his considerably repugnant mates, Ahmadinejad and Nasrallah. The latter two, whilst undoubtedly vile, at least have the familiarity of the religious fanatic.

Separated from Bashar at birth?

Separated from Bashar at birth?

But, even before he opens his mouth, there is just something about Bashar – perhaps those horribly cold eyes, or his uncanny resemblance to Blackadder Goes Forth‘s Captain Darling (right) – that renders irrelevant his British education, smooth suits, and (very) doable missus.

In fact, for Israel to deliver the strategic Golan Heights to the Ass’ Man would be akin to putting a serial paedophile in charge of a kiddies’ paddling pool.

(Incidentally, Ass’, who did the other 2.01% vote for?!)

Why Gilad must not be freed “at any price”

The thoughts of all Israelis (and Jews), both ‘left’ and ‘right’, must surely go out to Aviva and Noam (below) Shalit – the parents of kidnapped Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit – following the failure of this week’s talks, in Cairo, to obtain his release.

Noam Shalit

Israel was ‘only’ willing to release 325 Palestinian prisoners for Shalit – who will spend his one thousandth day in captivity this Saturday – and not the further one hundred or so demanded by Hamas, but deemed by Israel to be too dangerous and/or to have too much blood on their hands.

Even by its dubious standards, today’s (left-wing) Ha’aretz newspaper contained a ridiculously simplistic, not to say nonsensical, piece of supposed “Analysis” (full article):

there is a price, and if you are not willing to pay it, then in reality, you oppose freeing Shalit . . . This price is reasonable . . . It does not undermine our strength or our existence. It will not change the balance of power between us and them . . . Israel has always released hundreds and thousands of prisoners in exchange for a mere handful. After all, we currently hold some 12,000 prisoners, while they have only one. Yet they are not demanding that we exchange all 12,000 for him.

Well, thank you very much! Try telling that to the parents of a victim of a Hamas massacre, whether at the Passover Seder in Netanya’s Park Hotel (30 dead), Tel Aviv Dolphinarium (21), on Jerusalem’s Number 18 buses (45), in its Machane Yehuda market (16), Sbarro restaurant (15), Café Moment (11), or Hebrew University cafeteria (9).

It is the release of the men responsible for these atrocities (and various others) which constitutes Ehud Olmert’s “red line” . . . one which, I believe, he is right not to cross. (A Google search of the author of today’s piece, Nehemia Shtrasler, shows him to be a regular contributor to The Guardian. Quel surprise!)

Like a rat, Hamas preys on weakness. And that rat knows very well how highly we Jews – so unlike it – value the individual, human life, and our responsibility towards our sons and brothers. Even ignoring the legal, moral, and immediate security considerations of releasing these murderers – how many more Israelis would they slaughter? – giving in to Hamas’s outrageous demands is to invite further kidnappings, not just of Israeli soldiers, but of Israelis and Jews the world over.

So, whilst my heart goes out to the Shalits – if I were in their (unthinkable) shoes, I would also be pressing our Government to meet all of Hamas’s demands (and soon) – it is the responsibility of the State to to take a wider, and more detached, view.

Sticking it up the Swedes: a Sporting Purim Shpiel

Alfred Nobel! Greta Garbo! Ingrid Bergman! Ingmar Bergman! Britt Ekland! ABBA! Björn Borg! Sven-Göran Eriksson! Ulrika Jonsson! Can you hear me (if you are not under Sven), Ulrika Jonsson?! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!!

Okay, it was a Norwegian, not a Swedish, commentator who came up with a similar commentary – when his country’s footballers defeated England in a World Cup qualifier, in 1981 – but you get the idea.

And Israel’s 3-2 Davis Cup tennis victory, this weekend, over Sweden – the seven-time winners, who produced, in Borg, arguably the greatest player of all time – was no less of a giant-killing. Israel is now in the quarter-finals – where it will face Russia, in July (in Israel) – for only the second time in its history (the first was in 1987).

And the embarrassing home defeat was no more than the Swedes deserve, for their shameless decision to bow to domestic Islamofascist pressure to stage the tie behind closed doors (although, seeing as Sweden is always amongst the highest-placed developed countries in the international suicide rankings, it is perhaps no surprise that so many fundamentalist Muslims – known to be rather partial to the practice – have decided to settle there).

Just a few days after the attack on Sri Lanka’s cricketers in Lahore, by Pakistani Islamofascists, it was the perfect time to reaffirm the importance of sport in bringing people together. The significance, however, was sadly lost on the predictably unimaginative Swedes.

As a result of the Swedish spinelessness, I had considered issuing a melchett mike fatwa on all Jews who purchase “Volvoys” – what they call Volvos in Golders Green and Stamford Hill – but resolved that it would serve no useful purpose, because the company is now owned by Ford.

Boycotting IKEA would be far preferable, as the furniture retailer is far more accessible to the average Israeli than a Volvo – the store near Netanya, in spite of being amongst the most expensive in the world, appears to do a thriving trade – and because I have always hated the f*cking place, its labyrinths representing the ultimate shopping hell.

IKEA Israel Complaints

What I am only prepared to do for world understanding

What I would only do for Israeli- Swedish relations

I would, however, be prepared to reconsider my call for a boycott if Ulrika (right) were to visit Tel Aviv, and ‘thrash things out’ with me in a spirit of mutual giving and openness. Purely in the interests of improving relations between our nations, you understand . . .

Anyway, a very happy Purim to Israel’s tennis heroes, Dudi Sela, Harel Levy, Andy Ram and Amir Hadad – our modern, sporting Mordechais – for sticking it up the anti-Semitic (let’s face it, that is what it boils down to) Swedes.

“Dame” Gerald: Our very own “Uncle Tom”

He just had to go and open his poisonous gob . . . and just when I’d thought I’d put my Self-Hating Jew series to bed!

I purposely excluded any reference to Gerald Kaufman from earlier posts on Harold Pinter and Alexei Sayle, because I had thought, hoped, that his relative silence on this occasion might be due to his pragmatic assessment that this war – one of self-defence, following eight years of near daily rocket fire – was, indeed, justified. I mean even his “intellectual” bedfellows, in Israel’s doveish Meretz party, were supporting the IDF’s actions this time.

Few opportunists, however, can resist an opportunity. And, true to form, Kaufman was just biding his time . . .

In the House of Commons, on Thursday, the Labour MP for Manchester Gorton launched a diatribe against Israel (full Hansard transcript), so irrational and vitriolic – even defiling the memory of his own grandmother – that it took by surprise even those with bitter experience of this hateful, self-hating, excuse for a Jew.

Some of my best friends are Jews

Some of my best friends are Jews

After a lengthy prologue of self-justification, reminiscent of those who prelude their anti-Semitic sentiments with “Some of my best friends are Jews . . .”, Kaufman invoked the memory of his Polish grandmother, murdered by the Nazis in her sickbed: “My grandmother did not die to provide cover for Israeli soldiers murdering Palestinian grandmothers in Gaza. The current Israeli Government ruthlessly and cynically exploit the continuing guilt among Gentiles over the slaughter of Jews in the Holocaust as justification for their murder of Palestinians.”

The only person guilty of “ruthless and cynical exploit[ation]” is Kaufman himself . . . of his Jewishness, and (seeing as he has little regard for that), even more shamefully, of the memory of his own grandmother. In view of her tragic fate, I suspect that she would have considered a homeland in which Jews could finally defend themselves, following two millennia of persecution by various hosts, a meaningful consolation (if there could be one) for the victims of the Holocaust.

That right of self-defence, however, is the very one that Kaufman, by his wilful perversion of the facts, denies us. If his grandmother had a grave, Kaufman might as well have gone and spat on it.

While Kaufman, 78, a former Cabinet minister, claims to have been “brought up as an Orthodox Jew and a Zionist”, it is incomprehensible that anyone raised with even the most basic of Jewish or Zionist values would have the inclination or insensitivity, not to mention lack of understanding, to make the analogy – as did Kaufman, most despicably, on Thursday – between “the Jews fighting for their lives in the Warsaw ghetto” and Hamas “militants”.

Indeed, one doesn’t have to be a Jew or a Zionist to see the absence of any moral parallel whatsoever between the victims of Hitler’s systematic destruction of European Jewry and those killed in pursuit of their declared aim of destroying the Jewish State.

Judge a person by his friends

Judge a person by his friends

It is most telling that, on Thursday, Kaufman – who once branded Ariel Sharon “a war criminal” (a label which he ended Thursday’s polemic by assigning to the entire Israeli Government) – was keen for the House (and the country) to hear that Yasser Arafat was “a friend of mine”. What a mark of distinction! For someone who read philosophy at Oxford, however, Kaufman employs the most bewildering of moral compasses.

Whilst a student at Manchester University, in the late 1980s, Kaufman, to our immense surprise, answered a call to defend his anti-Israel views to Jewish students at Hillel House. There we lay in wait, all college precocity and naivety, with our clever questions and infallible arguments, to wipe the floor with this “Jewdas”. But, in an awesome display of oratory, Kaufman, without so much as a scratch, left us to wander off to the pub, wondering how we didn’t manage to land even one decent blow. That evening, we witnessed the triumph of rhetoric over truth, presentation over substance, and the skills which the articulate Kaufman has employed in Parliament, to his malevolent ends, so effectively over the past forty years.

O Jerusalem!

O Jerusalem!

In 2002, Kaufman’s BBC film, The End of the Affair, documenting his disillusionment with Israel, was broadcast over Jewish New Year. Kaufman’s arguments were so irrational and full of spite – including that Orthodox Jews were “infesting” Jerusalem (language which Hitler himself would have been proud of), and that Israel’s architectural planners had turned Jerusalem into a eyesore (an argument so ridiculous, even Stevie Wonder chuckled) – that, some days later, on Yom Kippur, he was abused by fellow congregants, even in his most proper and Anglicised of synagogues, St. John’s Wood.

While some British Jews criticized such treatment in a house of worship, I was not amongst them. Only someone so supremely arrogant could have had the temerity to show his face to coreligionists following so ferocious and malicious an assault, not just on Israel but on Jews.

One can only speculate whether the root cause of Kaufman’s self-loathing might have been his lack of acceptance by mainstream Anglo-Jewry (perhaps even more conservative in his native Yorkshire), for the very reason that he is known in Parliament as “Dame” Gerald. Whether mere speculation, or more, Kaufman should at least learn to “mince” his words.

Kaufman is also an outspoken critic of fox hunting, and – knowing that he is often accused of being a self-hating Jew – has seen the irony in being subjected to anti-Semitic taunts by pro-hunt demonstrators.

But, you see, Gerald, there’s the rub –  we Jews, like foxes, can run, but we can’t hide. Your lifetime of sycophancy, and attempts to ingratiate yourself with the British Establishment, by bashing Israel, have fooled no one. Those in it, who don’t like you because you are a Jew, like you even less because you are a cowardly Jew.

But, most tragically, Gerald, your Bubbe would be as thoroughly ashamed of you as we all are.

Hitting Turkey where it hurts

Israeli tourism to Turkey hit an all-time high in 2008, with over half a million Israelis (me included) visiting between January and October alone. Israelis rank tenth amongst all nationalities entering the Third World country, which boasts Istanbul and some cheap resorts. (Ynetnews article)

turkey14But enough is enough.

Following Prime Minister Erdogan’s grossly hypocritical tirades against Israel’s war on terror (see my earlier Mr. Erdogan . . . you’re the Christmas turkey! post), and the Bnei Hasharon basketball team’s ordeal in Ankara last week (Jerusalem Post article), the time has come for Israelis to hit the hypocritical Turks where it hurts most . . . and I don’t mean in their asses (that would be counter-productive), but in their pockets, by choosing a different vacation destination.

Turkey’s arch enemy, Greece, would be a fitting choice. Its islands have better beaches, entertainment and, most definitely, culture (if not Russian totty) than Antalya, Bodrum, and all those other tawdry resorts put together. One is also less likely to be accosted by some fat, greasy, moustachioed male looking for some unsuspecting kosher ‘meat’ to stick on his unwashed ‘skewer’.

I, for one, won’t be visting Turkey again (and can now dispose of all those corks). But the next time there is a terrible natural disaster there, let’s tell them how shit they’ve been to the Armenians and the Kurds before automatically proffering our support.

Wankers.

(Apologies for melchett mike having become rather less refined over the past fortnight . . . frustration at all the hypocrisy has brought out the cruder side of me!)

F*ck you, too

[melchett mike, talking to his reflection in his laptop screen, after suffering a fortnight of “F*ck Israel” and “F*ck Jews” . . . ]

Well, f*ck you, too. F*ck you and this whole Jew-hating world. F*ck all the  protesters who, it seems, don’t believe Jews have a right to defend themselves. Where have you been these past eight years, while missiles have been landing on our women and children every day? And what would you have done if they were landing on yours, you self-righteous hypocrites? F*ck Bianca Jagger and Annie Lennox, and all the other has-beens, who have been trying to revive their flagging careers aboard the human rights bus (the one which doesn’t stop in Israel). F*ck Roseanne Barr and Alexei Sayle, and all the other “rent a Jews”. You are a f*cking disgrace. F*ck George “Hezbollah has never been a terrorist organisation” Galloway, the nauseating Scottish prick, who spends his entire wretched existence kissing-up to Muslims. For someone who claims he didn’t admire Saddam (but who “salute[d his] courage, strength and indefatigability”), you might as well have been blowing the genocidal maniac. F*ck Ken Livingstone, the “concentration camp guard”-comparing, Hugo Chávez-supporting, hypocrite. If you and Galloway spent less time offending Jews, you wouldn’t need to spend so much claiming you are not anti-Semites. F*ck Robert Fisk, Gideon Levy and Amira Hass, those Arab-loving affronts to objective journalism. F*ck the pompous, self-righteous BBC. We might as well try to get the truth off Al Jazeera. F*ck the Turks, the Armenian-murdering, Kurdish-persecuting, women-subjecting, wrong hole-f*cking hypocrites. F*ck Ahmedinejad, the poisonous Persian dwarf in his M&S summer jackets. Did no one ever tell you M&S was Jewish?! F*ck the terrorist-protecting “human shields”. What were you expecting when you stood in front of Caterpillars, you dumb assholes?! F*ck the UN and its double standards. How come you can always find Gaza on your maps, but never Congo, Somalia, Iraq, Sudan, Pakistan, Myanmar, Zimbabwe, . . . ? F*ck the Palestinians, the miserable f*cking low-lives, spurning every opportunity for peace that has come their way. F*ck all the Arabs, who despise the Palestinians more than anyone, and have only ever used them for their own Evil, self-serving ends. F*ck Abu “Hook Hands” Hamza, who should be left to rot and die in his stinking Belmarsh sty. Every time you try to wipe, and scratch your ass to f*ck, repent for being the bomb-making terrorist that you are. F*ck the memories of the treasonous filth who blew themselves up on London Transport. May every one of your 72 virgins be hung like a horse. F*ck Mashal, Nasrallah and Bin Laden, sending their sons to their deaths while hiding like rats in their bunkers. And f*ck Hamas, for using mosques, women and children to protect their own yellow asses. Get the Vaseline ready . . . your virgins are on their way! Believe me, neither Allah nor Mohammed gives a flying f*ck about any of you Evil bastards. From the protests in Edinburgh to the demos in Auckland. From the slums of Bradford to the rat-infested tunnels of Gaza. From Finsbury Park Mosque to every other one preaching lies, hatred and murder. Let the bombs land, let the fires rage, let Evil burn to f*cking ash, and then let the waters rise and submerge it.

[pause]

But, also, f*ck you, melchett mike . . . for ever expecting anything else.

(And f*ck you, Monty Brogan, for giving me the idea.)

Days of Awe, Heroes and Whores

I generally don’t “do” awe (it entails reverence). But seeing Israel’s young men (many still in their teens) leaving their loved ones, these past few days, and going off to battle, has filled me with the damn thing.

As a result of my late Aliyah (immigration), my service in the IDF was both short and depressingly pointless – at one stage, I was spending entire weeks in a warehouse, counting nuts and bolts for tanks – and, to quote Woody Allen (yes, I know, again), “In the event of war, I’m a hostage.”

IDF ground forces entering Gaza, Saturday evening

IDF ground forces entering Gaza, Saturday evening

I just cannot begin to imagine how it must feel to enter Gaza – never mind in pitch-darkness (as IDF soldiers did on Saturday evening) – in the full knowledge that it is teeming with deadly enemies, operating in a labyrinth of underground tunnels (a captured IDF soldier is worth far more to Hamas than a dead one, and one was almost dragged into a tunnel yesterday).

On yesterday’s evening news, parents at hospital bedsides were relating how the main concern of their injured sons was to return to their combat units as quickly as possible, and to be reunited with their comrades.

I am sufficiently self-aware to know that I have never had the fortitude to do what they are doing (I almost passed out during the opening sequence of Saving Private Ryan – particularly embarrassing on a first date – so, the next time I am derogatory about Israeli males, please remind me as to what many of them were experiencing while I was struggling with my petty university “issues”).

In sharp contrast to the “soldiers” of Hamas, Hizbollah, and Al Qaeda, etc – whose world view and motivation are predicated on racism and hate – Israel’s young men are not there out of negative feelings towards Palestinians, Arabs or Muslims . . . but rather out of love for, and to defend, their families, People and Land. And this is precisely why Israel will emerge victorious, on this occasion too.

What is important is not that you “speak out as a Jew” – most of those who have done so, this past week and a half, have no interest in their Jewishness whatsoever – but what you “do as a Jew”.

There is no finer example of this than the selfless and courageous soldiers of the IDF. They are the true, modern-day Jewish heroes. And all of the “whores” and sell out merchants (see my earlier posts on Alexei Sayle, Gideon Levy and Harold Pinter) put together – who have been raising their ugly heads and voices – are not worth a single one of them.

Chazak ve’ematz! (Be strong and of good courage, Joshua 1:6-9)

Jew for Sayle: Alexei’s Bid to Become UK’s Number One Self-Hating Jew

Harold Pinter’s body may only just have stiffened, but an unsavoury tussle is already underway for his ignoble position, as The UK’s Number One Self-Hating Jew. At a news conference in London, yesterday – calling for an end to Israel’s right to defend itself – author and comedian Alexei Sayle staked his claim for the much coveted crown, branding Israel a “murderer”, “rapist” and “bully”.

Other participants in the conference, George “saluter of Saddam” Galloway and Ken “you are just like a concentration camp guard” Livingstone, might also have had good claims for the title . . . if only they had been Jewish (let’s be thankful for small mercies). Ex-Eurythmics (now fading) star, Annie Lennox, meanwhile, can perhaps be excused for her anti-Israeli stance, having been married to one; while listening to Bianca Jagger’s platitudes made it clear why it was so important for her to keep her ex-husband’s name. What an odd gathering of rogues and lightweights!

In 1995, I saw Alexei Sayle in a stand-up performance in his home city of Liverpool. It was one of the funniest evenings of my life. I also enjoy his absurd, surreal writing. But when it comes to Israel, the 56-year old does all Jews, but especially those in the UK, a grave disservice.

alexei-sayle2“I want to feel proud of Israel, I want to be proud of my people, but I am ashamed”, Sayle duped reporters yesterday. Rather than touting his wares for “weddings and bar mitzvahs” (like less celebrated Jewish artists), Sayle – who has never been known to show even the slightest interest in Judaism or his Jewishness – hires, or rather sells, himself out as an “Israel basher”.

In fact, the Jewishness of Sayle, Pinter and their ilk would appear to be defined purely by a pathological hatred of Israel, and a willingness to be used by the enemies of both Jews and Israel (very often one and the same). (For the distinction I draw between a self-hating Jew and a Jew-hater, see my earlier post on the Death of Harold Pinter.)

Sayle should know that he has sunk to the very lowest depths when even many Arab states, hardly lovers of Israel, have expressed their understanding of (if not support for) Israel’s actions against Hamas.

The possible causes of such self-loathing are worthy of a dedicated post, but Sayle’s parents were ardent Communists, beliefs that probably alienated them from, and perhaps turned them against, Liverpool’s Jewish community. Alexei, too, joined the Communist Party. But where does a Jew in name alone get the arrogance, presumption and self-importance to state, as Sayle did yesterday, that “it’s important that Jewish people who have a public profile . . . speak out to say that this is not being done in our name”?

Whether or not “Israel has an idea of itself as being noble” or “the good guy”, as Sayle claims, the fact remains that it is (especially when compared to every single Islamic or Arab regime) – even in the midst of a hugely complicated and dangerous operation, Israel is permitting humanitarian aid to enter Gaza and warning civilians to evacuate targets of impending attacks. It is unimaginable that any Palestinian faction (never mind Hamas) would have done the same, if the roles had been reversed.

Sayle then embarked on a course in kindergarten psychology: “what you do is you blame the people that you’ve killed and you hear all the time from Israeli spokespeople that they are angry with the people they have murdered for making them murder them . . . it is the psychology of the murderer, it is the psychology of the rapist, it is the psychology of the bully. That’s what Israel is in this situation.”

A few questions, Mr. Sayle . . .

  • In the eight years since they began, have you even once spoken out against the rocket attacks on Israeli civilians, and said that they had to stop? And what about the suicide bombings before them?
  • Why do you, especially as a Jew, appear to view Israeli blood as cheaper than Palestinian?
  • Have you ever once, as the left-wing intellectual that you appear to consider yourself, criticised, inter alia, the homophobic or sexist policies of Hamas, or those of other Islamic or Arab regimes?
  • And have you ever been to Israel, the country that you claim you “want to feel proud of”?

Should you have the integrity and courage to examine the self-loathing, Muslim-pandering bed that you have made for yourself, I invite you to visit Israel as my guest. I will take you down to Sderot and Ashkelon, to meet some of “[your] people”, who have been living in a continual state of fear during eight years of Palestinian rocket attacks. I will also take you to meet some of the thousands of victims of Palestinian terror, and to some of the families of the thousands more who are no longer here to tell their stories.

It would certainly make for an interesting BBC documentary.

Perhaps, then, Mr. Sayle, you would no longer be “ashamed”. On second thoughts, you probably still would . . . but only because you have been such a fool.

Mr. Erdogan . . . you’re the Christmas turkey!

Turkey is known more for its kebabs (and the dubious sexual preferences and practices of its menfolk) than its national sense of humour. The recent utterances of Turkey’s Prime Minister, however, bear all the hallmarks of a comic genius.

In January, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, the leader of Turkey’s Islamic ruling party, suggested that Qassam rockets fired from Gaza don’t kill.

His latest one-liner is that Israel’s war against Hamas and its rockets constitutes “a serious crime against humanity”.

Mr. Erdogan is clearly trying to prove, single-handedly, that the origins of the North American slang turkey – “a stupid or inept person” (Concise Oxford Dictionary) – do not derive from the bird eaten on Christmas; because both Erdogan and his country, stuck in the Middle Eastern Middle Ages, know all too well about “serious crime[s] against humanity”.

Not even mentioning (as Turks themselves don’t) the Armenian genocide and ongoing persecution of the Kurds, Turkey is a serial violator of human rights (the reason for its delayed accession to the EU). Blacklisting, on political, religious and sexuality grounds, is commonplace, as is torture, even murder, at the hands of the police. “Denigrating Turkishness” is prohibited, and many journalists and intellectuals have been victims of violent attacks and even assassinations. Forced virginity-testing for females was only outlawed as recently as 2002.

I had shocking first-hand experience of the primitive, barbaric side (there is another) of Turkey in 2000, on my first ever visit to the country, for the UEFA Cup semi-final between Galatasaray and Leeds United. On the evening before the game (a matter of minutes after I had started walking back to my hotel), Leeds fans Christopher Loftus and Kevin Speight were viciously stabbed to death (Loftus was stabbed 17 times) in Taksim Square, in the heart of Istanbul, by a knife-wielding mob, following allegations that the Turkish flag had been “disrespected”. Even if true, a nation that values a piece of cloth over human life needs to undertake some serious self-analysis. (Some of the Turkish press even glorified the killings, one headlining “We made their heads kiss the ground of our motherland.” Nice.)

Istanbul is a fascinating city (I have been four times now, and even had my heart broken there). But the Ottoman Empire has long since faded, and venturing outside of the major cities is, by all accounts, like finding oneself on the set of some Middle Eastern Deliverance.

Despite being only sixty years’ old, and rising out of the ashes of the Holocaust rather than a vast Empire, Israel is light years ahead of Turkey in the democratic stakes, and in virtually every other way. She provides Turkey with major assistance, including humanitarian (IDF search and rescue teams were to the fore in the aftermath of the 1999 earthquake), military, and intelligence (the Mossad helps Turkey track down Al Qaeda operatives in the region).

Mr. Erdogan, friendship works both ways. And friends support each other at times of need. Perhaps it is hard for you to comprehend (not being written in your holy Koran), but a genuine Jewish friend is better than a criminal Muslim one. You wouldn’t want to share an Efes Pilsen (alcohol-free, of course) with a Hamas terrorist any more than a PKK one.

Gideon Levy: Neighborhood Inciter a Testament to Cast-Iron Democracy

For many in Israel, Gideon Levy is Public Enemy Number One. The journalist, and editorial board member, at the left-wing Haaretz newspaper never ceases to sicken and appall with his anti-“everything Zionist” writing.

gideon-levy5His article, yesterday, The neighborhood bully [perverting the title of a pro-Israel Dylan song] strikes again – responding to the first day of Operation Cast Lead – was an excellent case in point.

I haven’t got the energy, or inclination, to dissect his unprofessionally one-sided and fallacious arguments (I won’t let melchett mike deteriorate into one of those tedious and dreary “mediawatch”-type blogs), but this man – of, at best, questionable, and, at worst, traitorous, motives – is a wonderful testament to the impressive democracy that has evolved in this country over a mere sixty years.

If Levy had been a “loony left” Palestinian living in Gaza – rather than an Israeli (residing, no doubt, in some swanky suburb of Tel Aviv) – he wouldn’t dare have written such things against Hamas or his people.

If he had, his testicles would have been put on public display at the Tate Modern, Gaza . . . though only after they had been removed by an epileptic Hamasnik wielding blunt preschool paper scissors, stuffed up his rear, and then sent to his family for identification.

Now, there’s an idea . . .