mensch: noun. informal. A person of integrity and honour. “The key to being a real mensch is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous.” (Leo Rosten, The Joys of Yiddish)
[Quoting relevant mensch/month, leave your comment below!]
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July 2012 Bradley Wiggins-Feldman
For becoming the first Kilburner to take the Tour de France.
And for putting to bed suggestions that it would be impossible for the love child of Marty Feldman – and sporting his old man’s less than aerodynamic sideburns – to do so.
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June 2012 Roy Hodgson
For, after just two months in the job, inculcating in his new charges the qualities that we have come to love in the Ingerland, i.e., the inability to . . .
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maintain possession of the football;
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pass it (forward at least) to a teammate;
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kick it past a goalkeeper from 12 yards; and
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provide even an iota of entertainment (in what is, after all, a spectator sport).
Bring on Brazil 2014!
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May 2012 Tony Greenstein & Ben White
This delectable pair – self-hater on the one hand, and good old-fashioned anti-Semite on the other – for targeting melchett mike on their respective hate blogs (here and here).
What an honour! Thank you, guys!
Tony Greenstein, and . . .
. . . if you need another reason to think him an anti-Semite, I present a picture of Ben White
. . . . .
April 2012 Lt. Col. Shalom Eisner
melchett mike’s with you, Shalom . . . even though you might have used a little more backlift (enjoy again here, with subtle, Jaws-style soundtrack).
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January 2012 Yossi Ayache
If you watched last month’s Ouvda investigative TV documentary about the hit-and-run killing in Tel Aviv, in September, of Lee Zeitouni by two French scumbags, Claude Khayat and Eric Rubic, who immediately fled the country, you will have witnessed the brave, selfless assistance given to Zeitouni’s boyfriend in Paris by Yossi Ayache.
It would have been far easier, and no doubt safer, for Ayache – who runs a communal defence group in the city – to have closed ranks with his fellow Parisians. But, using a hidden microphone and camera, Ayache obtained a confession from Khayat – also revealed as being involved in the Israeli underworld – who proved himself the sickening coward that we all knew he and Rubic must be.
Get the pair of c*nts in front of an Israeli judge . . . and soon!
Justice for Lee Zeitouni facebook page
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December 2011 Newt Gingrich
The Republican presidential candidate, for telling it as it is . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXZ3i6Zj4PA (to skip over the senile old fart who goes first, go to 1:21)
“Palestinians?! Don’t make me laugh!”
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November 2011 Hugh Grant
“I wasn’t aware I traded on my good name. I mean I’ve never had a good name . . . I am the man who was arrested with a prostitute.”
Testimony to Leveson Inquiry, November 21, 2011 (YouTube clip)
Refreshingly frank, and came across as a really top bloke. What he was ever doing with that Muslim-obsessed tart, he only knows . . .
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September 2011 Carlos Tevez
The devilishly handsome Argentinian, for refusing – contrary to everything that is the ‘new’ Manchester City – to be bought (full story).
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August 2011 Aaron Biber
The 89-year old Tottenham barber who – following damage to his shop during the England riots – evoked sufficient sympathy for a dedicated, international fundraising campaign for repairs . . . while letting slip, to the JC, that he only gives to “unzerer”.
Now, that’s chutzpah!
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July 2011 Stuey
For showing the Rothschild tent brigade – and three times a day – exactly what he thinks of them.
As dark, hairy and smelly as the best of ’em . . . but with a great deal more independence of spirit.
Capitalist pig . . . err, dog!
. . . . .
June 2011 Ollie and Tim
The first joint winners.
For letting a complete stranger into their home. And for allowing him to photograph it in its entirety. And for putting the kettle on. And for listening to the history of Dublin’s “little Jerusalem”. And on a Sunday morning . . .
And when his father didn’t even live there!! Sorry, guys! 😉
(See In the name of the father, and of his son, and of this belated post: melchy’s Ireland trip.)
Ollie (left) and Tim, their breakfast table, South Circular Road, Dublin (June 5, 2011)
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May 2011 Gene Simmons
The Kiss rocker, for demonstrating a great deal more political savvy than his President . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ44nQrH7oI
Not sure about that eye liner, though . . .
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April 2011 Prince Harry of Wales
For refraining both from turning up in Nazi gear and – as confirmed by Royal Wedding lip readers – from whispering to half-brother Will, during the ceremony, that he should keep an eye on Kate and make sure she doesn’t shag any gingers.
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March 2011 Muammar al-Gaddafi
Following in the footsteps of his delightful son (February’s winner), “M” is for Mensch, Month, March . . . and Muammar!
The Libyan dictator has had everyone fooled: For all these years, he has kept his yiddishkeit ingeniously concealed behind a brilliant façade of murderous megalomania, bizarre rhetoric, ridiculous titfas and Seventies footballer perms . . . and all just to keep a Jewish/Zionist foothold in North Africa!
Anyway, Muammar, re your Aliyah, should you decide against the traditional misrad klita (absorption centre), you will be welcome to kip down at Melchett whenever, and for as long as, you like. (Now what would that do for my pulling power?!)
Muammar reading from his cunningly disguised ArtScroll Tehillim
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February 2011 Saif al-Islam Gaddafi
You’ve got to love a man who displays such kibud av (respect for his father), and who can tell such absolute whoppers with a totally straight – if repulsive – face.
“I told you already: my father, he is a man of peace.”
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January 2011 Hosni Mubarak
For refusing to be rattled by a rabble of rowdy Arab rebels.Cos he knows what’s coming next . . .
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December 2010 Elad Riven z”l
The volunteer firefighter, just 16, who gave his life saving others in the Carmel Forest . . . a reminder to us all of the idealism and altruism that this country was once all about. (Ynet article)
God bless.
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November 2010 Orly Innes
For going public about yet another perv (alleged) standing for high office here – though ‘only’ that of Police Commissioner, this time (and not Head of State) – and preventing him from further dragging this country’s good 😉 name through the mire (full story).
That said, an anti-domestic violence activist is an odd choice of candidate for an indecent assault . . . even for a dumb ass Israeli cop.
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October 2010 Wayne Rooney
For all of you who know how much I despise everything Mancunian and Red, this granny prostitute-shagging “Scum”-bag will be a most surprising choice for Mensch of the Month.
But for conning an extra £100,000-a-week (at a conservative estimate) out of his employers, and for putting to bed rumours that footballers just want to play for Manchester United and Alex Ferguson, “Shrek” is fully meritorious of the award.
Who ate all the pies?
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September 2010 Andrew Strauss
The England cricket captain, for conducting himself with great dignity throughout the Pakistani betting scandal and the spiteful provocations that followed (I’m with Beefy), and for taking his players to Dachau.
Good luck in Aus’, Straussy!
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August 2010 Trevor Leigh
Trevor’s sponsorship of my upcoming Norwood charity bike rides to the grand tune of £1,613.40 (it wouldn’t have been you, “Tricky”, without the £13.40) made the choice of melchett mike’s inaugural Mensch of the Month – much like its recipient, on occasion! – a bit of a no-brainer.
Thank you so much, “Tricky” . . . you’re the maverick mensch!
Mensch not mook: appearances can be so deceptive . . .
melchett mike 
And so handsome as well as generous… and into Gematriya too… who could ask for more?!
You forgot to mention Gadaffi’s dress sense 🙂
That’s because I can’t get below the twat’s neck! (PS Good luck, this evening, Moshe . . . hope the Yids make it two out of two for the Sickening One.)
January mensch – Deposed and in court on corruption charges.
February mensch – Taken out by NATO this morning.
March mensch – Kicked out of half his country by an insurrection supported by Western air power.
April mensch – Better watch out. It clearly does not augur well to be featured in this column.
Saif al-Arab was (reportedly) killed this morning. February’s mook was his older brother, Saif al-Islam. Keep up, Geoffers!
Mike
Your mini-montage of Prince Harry and his alleged relative reminded me that I was on a bikur moledet the evening of Princess Diana’s famous interview with Martin Bashir of the BBC back in 1995. She admitted that while still in full-time employment as the Royal Mattress she had moonlighted with James Hewitt. The following morning Haaretz’s soul-sister The Guardian ran a short piece stating that they had called the Director of Public Prosecutions to enquire whether in accordance with The Treason Act 1531 Hewitt could be prosecuted for “violating the Sovereign’s eldest son’s wife” with the exciting prospect for establishment- bashing left wing intellectuals of execution by hanging. The DPP answered, in the manner that is another example of why England is still the greatest nation on Earth, that they had not received a complaint but, if they did, they would treat it in the normal manner.
Nevertheless, potential Kate suitors need not fret. Since 1998 the maximum punishment for such rogering is life imprisonment and it would, in any event, not apply until the Queen (biz a hundred un Tzvanzik) slips the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God. So, for the time-being any adventurers interested in extreme unsafe sex, will have to settle for Camilla which leads me to conclude that the Royal Family can sleep soundly at night.
The wretched Earl of Wessex . . . so in the shadow of Charles and “Randy” that he is even overlooked as a potential Royal cuckold!
As for the Countess of Wessex, one could do a lot worse (I certainly have!) She is quite comely, in a BBC Newsroom South East presenter kinda way (and let’s not forget that she once “got ’em out” for Chris Tarrant . . . or, rather, he got one of ’em out for her).
Anyway, if Diana was (in Raanana circles, at least) “the Royal Mattress,” would the Countess be “the Royal Sopha”?
See above my belated “Mensch” for August . . .
quite, mike… “uncle” aaron was definitely the star of the riots… what a character!
he reminded us of our great-uncle cecil (l”z). he was in monty’s eighth and always used to regale us with stories of el alamein.
odd thing was he always worshipped rommel… kept a photo of him on his lounge wall in richmond until the day he left us!
best,
eugene
“odd thing was he always worshipped rommel… kept a photo of him on his lounge wall in richmond until the day he left us!”
Right. I can picture the scene. The traditional Jewish photograph-papered wall with pride of place to the ubiquitous Jewish wedding photograph of Cecil and wife in the inter-war years, she in a low waisted off-white wedding dress, her bucket haircut crowned by a bandana in the style of Clara Bow and Mary Pickford – he, proud in top hat and tails; the background -a short off-white staircase going nowhere and off-white walls. Around said photograph are colour pics of their various children on their wedding days and bar mitzvah photos of their beloved grandchildren. But pride of place, slightly off centre – next to the picture of an aging Cecil and spouse arm-in-arm with their backs to the Western Wall, is a grand portrait of The Desert Fox in full Wehrmacht regalia looking down benignly on the Sunday afternoon Kalookee parties attended religiously by the Sadies, Yettas and Fannys of the Richmond Jewish community.
Well, Eugene, you’ve convinced me.
Sincerest apologies, Eugene. Rather than tackle my aspersions on the prevalence (or otherwise) of stiffies in Ra’anana (here), John Fisher continues to see fit to harass readers who don’t fit his perception of what makes a “normal” Yeed (I have assured him, off-blog, that there might, indeed, be Hebrews in South Ken).
While I feel reasonably confident in positing that Field Marshal Rommel never hosted Melaveh Malkahs (post-Sabbath meals, Eugene) in the Heidenheim family home, a little research – which Mr. Fisher, too, could have conducted with the requisite will – perhaps sheds some light on Great-Uncle Cecil’s (admittedly unusual!) admiration for the gentleman: see especially the third paragraph from the top.
Now, I hope that Mr. Fisher will leave you – and, indeed, Great-Uncle Cecil! – in peace.
Guten tag!
No self-respecting Englishman, let alone Jewish Englishman, would hang a picture of a German officer on his wall – even if his name was Field Marshall Mother Von Teresa. I am well aware of Rommel’s record, thank you, as of that of his son Manfred.
Eugene – Great Uncle Cecil is a figment of the imagination that imagined you into existence. And to think, you queried the authenticity of Davina Levita-Ree!
“No self-respecting Englishman, let alone Jewish Englishman, would hang a picture of a German officer on his wall”
I’ve got news for you: some Jewish Englishmen have done a lot more than merely hang pictures of Germans on their wall! (See Jews and Germany: Still that fascination of the abomination.)
And, in the early 80s, many more turned up at Holders Hill Road with extremely sore wrists . . .
Anyway, my further apologies, Eugene. And I, for one, thank you for prompting my research into the Field Marshal. Quite fascinating. And check out his third name . . .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erwin_Rommel
You gonna tell us that Great-Uncle Cecil went as far as talking your folks into naming you after him?! Now that even I would find hard to believe!
No offence, but I associate the name rather more with American Jewish computer geeks than brilliant and daring WWII Field Marshals! 😉
I am beginning to think that Eugene (if he really DOES exist) is a penny short of a shilling AND not playing with a full deck.
Daddy went absolutely ballistic last night when I told him the story about that German General. He said if his father were alive he would be turning in his grave (which was a bit silly but Daddy was SO angry that I did not dare correct him). Before I could pacify him, he stormed off into the lift (which was on its way downstairs with two Arab ladies dressed for early Halloween celebrations), and I last spotted him through the kitchen window disappearing fast down the street in his Mercedes Benz without lights, followed by a Police BMW with a horrible wailing siren. It occurred to me that he had been hugging the single malt bottle a bit too lovingly earlier in the evening but at that moment Selena screamed excitedly from the salon that the Fashion TV Midnight Show was starting, so I went to join her.
I was so busy shopping today that I didn’t notice until I started writing this that I have not heard from Daddy since yesterday and now he is not answering his phone. I think I will call South Kensington Police Station.
Men are SO childish !
Sorry I had to run last night. It turned out that Uncle Eddie had posted bail for Daddy and taken him home (driving under the influence AND striking a police officer). Uncle Eddie told me that, when Grandma heard, “she got straight on the blower” to Grandpa’s cousin Mary and told her to call her son, David and demand that he “give a tinkle” to the new Metropolitan Police Commissioner and tell him to let Daddy off. According to Eddie, when Mary hesitated, Grandma berated her “in no uncertain terms ” and told her indignantly that she could forgive David for never inviting any of the family over for afternoon tea, but what was the use of having a Prime Minister in the family if he couldn’t sort out little problems like this. She even reminded her that Harold Macmillan had been most gracious when Grandpa had that little problem that helped bring down Harold’s government.
Never a dull moment! Off to Pilates and then a tour of Harrods with Selena.
Supping my hafuch on Jerusalem’s Ben Yehuda Street this morning, the unmistakeable figure of Lt. Col. Shalom Eisner – see April’s mensch (and enjoy, once again, the sound of butt on chin here) – in uniform strode past me.
I was transfixed with awe, and Lt. Col. Eisner gave me a look – which he has clearly become used to giving these days – of “Yes, it is me.”
A modern Orthodox woman approached him, and said something which caused him to smile modestly.
What a hero!
And melchett mike’s “Mensch of the Month” for July is . . . Bradley Wiggins-Feldman!! (See top of page.)