Mook of the Month

mook: noun. slang. A foolish, insignificant, or contemptible person. “We’re not payin’, because this guy . . . this guy’s a f*ckin’ mook.” (Mean Streets, 1973)[Quoting relevant mook/month, leave your comment below!]

. . . . .

July 2012 Unnamed “Queer”

An early winner this month, though, in view of the treatment of “queers” in Islamic countries, the mook’s sign should rather read . . .

“POOFS FOR PENISLESS PALESTINIANS”

. . . . .

June 2012 Eric Cantona

That paragon of nonviolent coexistence (most famously here), not to say virtue and modesty, for joining the unholy alliance of Israel-only bashers – including career self-haters Noam  Chomsky and Miriam Margolyes – in denouncing Israel for defending itself against Islamofascist terror. (Ynet report)

No doubt the result of a cross Channel call from “basher” par excellence Ken Loach (see May 2009’s mook).

Ooh! Uck! Cantona . . .

Le C*nt

. . . . .

 May 2012 Kevin Pietersen

The arrogant South African (because that’s what he is) for deciding that he no longer fancies international one-day cricket.

Whatever next from the mook? Demanding to just bat, but not field, in Test matches?!

Talk about slapping the country that backed and supported you in the face.

. . . . .

April 2012 Andreas Ias

What did the Danish mook expect, interfering with a soldier (see April’s Mensch) in the course of his duties . . . a handjob?!

Andreas Ias: Watch your lip!

. . . . .

March 2012 Emma Thompson

Okay, she’s a bit of an old horseface, but we all liked Emma . . . until, that is, she joined the shameful list of Israel-only bashers by putting her name to a letter protesting the participation of Tel Aviv’s Habima Theatre in a Shakespeare festival at the London Globe (story).

Not a word, however, about any of the other participating states, including China, Russia and Turkey. Hmm . . .

Thompson: Israel-only basher and horseface

. . . . .

February 2012 Fabio Capello

Capello: fusilli

An Italian this month, too. And who else but the former England football manager (who couldn’t speak a word of English), who resigned last month under the pretence of protecting his captain, the very lovely John Terry, sacked over allegations he had racially abused an opponent.

Capello, whose team was an embarrassment at the 2010 World Cup, spent the last four years prancing around as if he had a particularly long, hard strand of fusilli lodged up his backside, and received six million pounds a year –  not to mention a 1.5 million pound pay-off – for his trouble . . . the wanker laughing all the way to the banca.

. . . . .

January 2012 Francesco Schettino

Not too much of a toughie, this month . . .

The Costa Concordia captain, whose excuse for having abandoned his ship after it had capsized off the coast of Italy was that he had, wait for it . . . tripped and fallen into a lifeboat!

While hardly possible to add insult to injury after one’s actions had left 32 dead or missing, Schettino then admitted to having sailed the ship off-course to salute a retired colleague. (Guardian report)

. . . . .

December 2011 Bashar “what happened?” al-Assad

The rat of all rats, for his squirming and wriggling on ABC News . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsyQ442Xvnw

. . . . .

November 2011 Judge Michael Pastor

For sentencing that nice Dr Murray to the maximum possible jail term . . . when he, instead, should have awarded him the Freedom of Los Angeles for helping rid it of a dangerous kiddy-fiddler.

The ‘circus’ continued when the very family that made “Wacko Jacko” the freak that he was – including the father who abused him – demanded restitution for his lost tour!

“Am I George W. Bush in disguise?!”

 . . . . .

October 2011 Perugia Appeals Court

For its diabolical acquittal of Amanda Knox of the murder of Meredith Kercher.

I ask you: Is accusing a man not present at the murder scene (Daily Mail article) the act of an innocent woman?!

A “threesome”? No, ta, Amanda . . .

 . . . . .

 September 2011 Mahmoud Abbas

The Palestinian Authority president, for defying responsible elements of the international community by insisting on submitting his request for recognition of a Palestinian state.

The UN fiasco, together with the prospect of a horribly premature ‘state’, were best summed up by an “unfortunate” mishap just 20 minutes before Abbas was due to take the General Assembly podium:

“As crowds gathered in Ramallah’s Manara Square, the celebratory event got off to an unfortunate start when the large screen on which people will watch Mahmoud Abbas’s speech fell forward on top of Palestinian singers who were mid-performance. Three were hit on the head and taken to hospital in neck braces.” (source)

You’ve gotta love the Palestinians!

“And this, my friends, is the area of land we will allow our Jewish cousins.”

. . . . .

August 2011 Turkey

For the sickening double standards of these repugnant knuckle draggers.

And the next time the ungrateful bastards suffer a calamitous earthquake, we’ll send them – instead of search and rescue teams – a bucket & spade and a Meccano set.

(For my previous posts on the mooks, click here, here, here and here.)

In his true colours: Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan

. . . . .

July 2011 Dan Adler and Adam Levin

‘Tis better to be silent and be thought a mook, than to speak and remove all doubt . . .

“We pride ourselves on being people who do what they say they are going to do. We are jumping into this not because we want to jump in and jump out but because we are making a very long commitment.”

“We believe this is an opportunity to do something great for the city and for the State of Israel. We feel honored to play a part in the great history of Jerusalem and of the club. The main reason we came here is that we believe in Jerusalem.”

– Dan Adler, Jerusalem Post (July 17) and Haaretz (July 18)

But, a mere week and a half after “giving it the big one,” the two American businessmen (right) reneged on their agreement to purchase Betar Jerusalem, leaving the club, on the eve of the new football season, on the brink of liquidation (Israel Hayom, July 29).

There is speculation that the pair may have backed out of the deal after learning that Betar fans are all racist scum.

Now, who could possibly have told them that?!

Betar fans flying the flag of Meir Kahane’s Kach party


. . . . .

June 2011 Bob Dylan

Though it pains me to say it, for  his own seeming Disease of Conceit . . .

https://melchettmike.wordpress.com/2011/07/12/how-does-it-feel-to-be-taken-for-a-ride/

 

. . . . .

May 2011 Ryan “Gagging” Giggs

Not just for (allegedly) having done what he has always been paid by Scum to do – sniff in and around the box and poke it in while cheating – but for attempting to defend, through the courts, the “I’m not like them,” cleancut family man image that he has always projected for himself.

And who knows? With two kids already (with wife, Stacey), the hypocritical, adultering mook may even be on his way to a hat-trick!

PS Good luck on Saturday, Ryan . . . not!!

 

. . . . .

April 2011 David “Call me a Jew” Baddiel

Last month’s mook picks himself: Can there ever have been a more shameless self-publicist, and self-righteous hypocrite, than Osher’s cousin?

Baddiel’s film opposing anti-Jewish chants at football, especially of “Yiddo” (“the Y word” as he calls it),  follows years of him milking his Jewishness and Jewish stereotypes – on various TV shows with Frank Skinner – to get a cheap laugh.

Bo’ Selecta! knocked the nail on the head here, with a quick search of YouTube revealing . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvf9gDExvng

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO09GoRVqac&feature=related

But now that Baddiel’s career is flagging badly – he is clearly not up to it as a comedian, presenter or writer – he has miraculously discovered a most touching sensitivity to his Jewishness, and to how Jews are perceived . . .

Put a sock in it, mook!

. . . . .

March 2011 Judas . . sorry, Judge Richard Goldstone

April’s mook, strictly speaking, but I can’t wait another month . . .

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/apr/03/goldstone-regrets-report-into-gaza-war

Stable doors and bolted horses come to mind. Had the mook read melchett mike, he may have backtracked – and mitigated his libel – much sooner.

Goldstone: Dramatic about-turn

. . . . .

February 2011 Mathieu Flamini/Gennaro Gattuso

The first joint mook award, following AC Milan’s Champions League defeat at home to Tottenham Hotspur . . .

Milan’s Frenchman, Flamini, for his assault on Tottenhams’s Vedran Ćorluka (clip) – you’d go to jail for that in any other walk of life – and his greasy, hugely overrated, Italian teammate, Gattuso, for his headbutt on former Leeds legend, Joe Jordan.

Quote of the month, too, from Spurs manager Harry Redknapp, referring to Gattuso’s rather peculiar choice of victim:

“Gattuso had a flare-up with Joe Jordan . . . he obviously hadn’t done his homework!”

Redknapp jumps in to protect Gattuso (right) from “Big” Joe

. . . . .

January 2011 Barack Amoeba

Just how quickly did this spineless mook (incidentally, the first to receive the award twice) drop his supposed friend in Egypt. With friends like those . . .

Leader of the Free World, my arse.

“I’ll always be there for you, Hosni.”

. . . . .

December 2010 Sepp Blatter

The 2018 World Cup in Vladimir Putin’s personal fiefdom, and the 2022 tournament in that great footballing nation, Qatar . . . FIFA and its President not corrupt?!

And asked about the prospect of gay fans visiting an Islamic country where homosexuality is banned – as is public consumption of alcohol (in Russia, blacks are banned too) – Blatter responded, “I would say [they] should refrain from any sexual activities.”

Only a shame that the Swiss mook’s folks didn’t heed the same advice.

. . . . .

November 2010 Julian Assange (pardon now revoked)

Call me reactionary, but for publishing more than 250,000 US diplomatic cables, many labelled “Confidential” or “Secret,” the WikiLeaks Editor-in-Chief gets my vote: Assange is no hero of press freedom, rather a criminal who has made all of our lives considerably less secure.

Personally, I hope that the jerk – also wanted on suspicion of sex offences – is sentenced to life in the same (unventilated) cell as Michael Moore.

If that’s not a sex offender . . . ! He should be locked up just for the haircut.

. . . . .

October 2010 Lauren Booth

So, Tony Blair’s lovely sister-in-law has finally converted to Islam, giving up the laughable pretence of being a serious, objective journalist – she prostitutes herself for Ahmadinejad’s English language ‘news’ service, Press TV – and human rights campaigner.

Let us now look forward to Ms. Booth going the whole hog, and emigrating to the charming little democracy that is Gaza.

“He looked a lot like Omar Sharif, don’t you think?”

. . . . .

September 2010 Cynthia Nixon

On hearing that this ginger mook had signed a letter supporting the boycott of the new cultural center in the West Bank settlement of Ariel (Haaretz), I was reminded how footie songs say it best . . .

“Who the f*cking hell are you?!”

Cynthia Nixon (right) with her beautiful ‘wife’ (‘husband’?), Christine Marinoni

. . . . .

August 2010 Eli Yishai

The Israeli Minister of Internal Affairs, one of four Deputy Prime Ministers and head of Shas represents much that is rotten in this country.

With all the humanity and sensitivity of his “spiritual leader” Ovadia Yosef – who, just this past weekend, called for a plague on Mahmoud Abbas and the Palestinians (see here) – Yishai wants to deport 400 Hebrew-speaking children born in Israel to foreign workers.

Yishai’s opposition to granting asylum in the state that rose from the ashes of Auschwitz is the lie that refugees bring in “a range of diseases such as hepatitis, measles, tuberculosis and AIDS” (source).

Send the racist mook back to Tunisia, I say!

. . . . .

July 2010 Marc Mezvinsky

Who was this mook trying to kid with the kippah, tallis, chuppah and glass-breaking (I bet he has sleepless nights about the Beis Hamikdosh!)?

If you are going to marry “out”, at least have the integrity not to pretend to be a frummer – or even merely traditional – yeed.

Anyway, after that Monica bird, I am amazed that Bill wants anything more to do with -inskys!

Bill, Chelsea . . . and Mezvinsky

. . . . .

June 2010 Suat Kiniklioğlu 

Probably the most difficult choice since I first bestowed the ‘honour’, exactly a year and a half ago. This month, there has been . . .

  • “Muppet” Obama’s shameful British-bashing-bandwagon-jumping vis-à-vis the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, when he knows full well that BP has twice as many American employees – and almost as many US shareholders – as British.
  • Following in the spineless, ignoble footsteps of last month’s mook, Elvis Costello, the Klaxons, Gorillaz, Pixies and Devendra Banhart have all cancelled gigs in Israel (though kol hakavod [maximum respect] to Metallica, Rihanna and Elton John – and, hopefully, to Rod Stewart, too, this Wednesday – for showing that some artists do have principles).
  • The gratuitious, spiteful criticism by Israel’s Haaretz newspaper of our government and armed forces, following the Gaza flotilla incident, has been mookful in the extreme.
  • The exit, as shameless as their entrance, of Les C*nts from the World Cup.
  • And, of course, Robert Green (though he is, perhaps, rather more worthy of pity than contempt).

The most deserving candidate, however, for June’s Mook of the Month – for his sickening hypocrisy and double standards in the wake of the flotilla provocation – is unquestionably Turkish Prime Motherf*****, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan.

But he already received the ‘accolade’, in October 2009 (see below). So, seeing that it gives me a way of getting Erdoğan in by the back door – no doubt, as a Turkish male, his preferred point of access – and that I promised him eternal mookness if he didn’t respond to my post on his contemptible International Herald Tribune op-ed . . . this month’s mook is the Turkish parliament’s Foreign Affairs Committee Spokesman.

. . . . .

May 2010 Elvis Costello 

No need to wait until the end of the month with this one . . .

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/may/18/elvis-costello-cancels-israel-concerts

I will never again purchase or play a disc by this mook – whose music I have enjoyed since my youth – and, whenever I hear him on the radio, I will be swift to turn it off.

My own personal protest, however futile, against sickening ignorance, prejudice, and – perhaps worst of all – absolute spinelessness.


. . . . .

April 2010 Ehud Olmert 

As if he wasn’t already the subject of enough corruption cases, this sleazebag is now the prime suspect in another.

Indeed, it would come as no surprise to learn that melchett ehud – he has an apartment here (no doubt also ‘earned’ via some ‘deal’) – had been spotted removing valuable, stabilising minerals from the Icelandic volcano, moments before it erupted.

Instead of holding his hands up, however, and saving taxpayers’ money, Olmert continues to shamelessly fudge investigators and to implicate everyone else.

This mook represents everything that is rotten about this country.

 

. . . . .

March 2010 Barack Obama 

This ain’t the 51st state, mook . . . in our country, we’ll build where the f*ck we like!

. . . . .

February 2010 Lt. Gen. Dahi Khalfan Tamim 

For sheer effort, February’s mook has to be the Dubai police chief who has been using the Mossad . . . oops, mystery assassination of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh to make a name for himself.

“It is 99%, if not 100%, certain that Mossad is behind the murder.”

Tamim has repeated this claim without coming up with a single shred of proof. And he keeps promising “more surprises which will erase any doubt,” and then . . . zilch!

Tamim – which in Hebrew means “simple” or “naive” and who bears a more than passing resemblance to HaShoter (The Policeman) Azoulai, the bumbling cop in the 1970 Israeli movie – has called the Mossad:

“A dinosaur with old-fashioned thinking.”

That from the police chief who, under his watch, let 27 (accepting his estimate) agents enter his country, knock off a high-profile guest in a 5-star hotel, and then disappear without a trace!

Following promises of arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Mossad chief Meir Dagan, this mook is now urging Arab countries to “prevent Mossad infiltrations” by checking thoroughly any Jewish visitor with a non-Israeli passport.

Shit! I’ll have to give Iraq a miss this summer.

 

. . . . .

January 2010 Alex “Stopwatch” Ferguson 

If ever there were a prize for bad losers, it would have to go to this revolting excuse for a man.

Scum 0 The Famous Leeds United 1

With his overpaid bunch of tossers outfought and outclassed on their own patch by a team two divisions below – and sunk by a goal by an ex-RAC patrolman! – Fergascum, ungracious as ever, could only blame the referee for not adding enough “Fergie Time” for an (undeserved) equaliser:

“The referee gave five minutes. That is an insult to the game and to the players out there.”

“Sir” my arse! 

 

. . . . .

December 2009 Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (the “Underwear Bomber”) 

Ending the year as we started it, with another silly “Moozie” (see January’s mook below) . . . but, this time, with one who almost succeeded in murdering 289 innocent people (on a Northwest Airlines flight to Detroit on Christmas Day).

So, to the Frank Spencer of suicide bombers, melchett mike says . . .

Enjoy life (plus 90 years) in jail, and please don’t ever forget – if you drop the soap . . .  just do without! 

 

. . . . .

November 2009 Roy Keane 

For his spiteful outburst against his own country’s footballers, who were cheated out of next summer’s World Cup in South Africa by the hand of Va va c*nt, Thierry Henry (who, without Keane’s intervention, would have won this month’s award hands down).

Ex-Scummer Keane – who told Republic of Ireland players seeking a replay to “get over it” – obviously still hasn’t “got over” being sent home from the 2002 World Cup in Japan.

This is also the ‘man’ who waited three and a half years to exact revenge on a fellow pro, Alf-Inge Haaland, who never played another game following Keane’s vicious, premeditated assault.

If anyone needs to “get over” anything, it is surely the malevolent Keane.

Pure Scum. 

. . . . .

October 2009 Recep Tayyip Erdoğan 

The Turkish motherfu . . . oops, Prime Minister, who excluded Israel from a NATO military exercise at the last minute in belated protest against Operation Cast Lead (though kissing-up to Iran and Syria probably had more to do with it).

I suggest that the next time tens of thousands of Turks are trapped under collapsed buildings following an earthquake, the IDF again sends it search and rescue teams . . . but, this time, equipped only with evidence of the Turkish genocide of 1.5 million Armenians (which Turkey still denies).

The ungrateful, hypocritical, myopic mook. (See my earlier post, Mr. Erdogan . . . you’re the Christmas turkey!)

Kissing-up: Erdogan & Ahmadinejad

. . . . .

September 2009 Serhiy Ratushnyak 

The mayor of the Ukrainian city of Uzhhorod, who called a presidential hopeful “an impudent little Jew” (full story).

But Mayor Ratushnyak doesn’t receive much-coveted “mook” status merely for that . . . but for this little gem (to an AP reporter):

“Is everybody obliged to love Jews and Israel? If I don’t like Jews and Israel, does that make me an anti-Semite?”

Discuss.

Funny that, he doesn’t look like a racist.

Serhiy Ratushnyak 

. . . . .

August 2009 Kristie Buble 

The police officer who stopped an “eccentric-looking old man” wandering around a New Jersey neighbourhood.

“What is your name, sir?” Buble enquired.

“Bob Dylan,” came the the reply.

After Bob couldn’t produce ID, the 24-year old – who sounds like an excellent candidate for the Israeli police – insisted on driving him back to his hotel to authenticate his story.

“Now, I’ve seen pictures of Bob Dylan from a long time ago,” our Kristie said, “and he didn’t look like Bob Dylan to me at all. So I said, ‘OK Bob, what are you doing in Long Branch?’ He said he was touring the country with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp. So now I’m really a little fishy about his story. We see a lot of people on our beat, and I wasn’t sure if he came from one of our hospitals or something.”

“I don’t think she was familiar with his entire body of work,” explained an official.

Buble n' Bob 

. . . . .

July 2009 Unnamed Caricaturist (Kibbutz Degania Bet) 

In the process of grossly misrepresenting my good looks, last week (during a work outing), this mook enquired as to my hobbies.

“Cricket”, I replied.

Israelis . . .

Just not cricket! 

. . . . .

June 2009 Uri Geller 

As usual, Geller has been milking (sucking may be the more appropriate word) every drop of shameless self-publicity in the international media . . . this time, following the death of “best friend” Michael Jackson.

Only when quizzed as to when they had last spoken – apparently, Jackson told Geller to get lost way back in 2oo3 – did the cat (pussy might be more fitting) finally get Geller’s tongue.

What less can one say about this man?

Psychic & Psycho 

. . . . .

May 2009 Ken Loach 

This month, it can be announced early once again . . .

Be in no doubt, this is not merely an “anti-Zionist”. But rather fitting that one complete c*nt should make a film about another.

Cantona & Loach 

. . . . .

April 2009 The Pig 

Piglet & Pooh

. . . . .

March 2009 Russell Brand (and G20 protesters) 

This British media “zero” (the one needing a shave below) was, for once, lost for words, when asked by Sky News why he was at the G20 Summit protests in London. “For the same reason as everybody else,” Brand finally stuttered. Problem is, none of them knew why they were there either. Twats.  British police should have been empowered to shoot the lot of them. (Brand, incidentally, gave his support, in January, to the poor defenceless Gazans. The same Gazans who have been shelling Israel for over eight years . . . but obviously not enough publicity for him in that angle.)

[Cheating slightly, because it was on the 1st of April . . . but it is my blog!]

. . . . .

February 2009: Steve Harmison (England cricketer) 

For bowling so completely without heart in the Third Test in Antigua, and then having the temerity to demand assurances over his Test future . . . the gormless Geordie twat.

. . . . .

 January 2009: Unnamed “Moozie” 

Announced early, because there could only be one winner . . .

mook: noun. slang. A foolish, insignificant, or contemptible person. “We’re not payin’, because this guy . . . this guy’s a f*ckin’ mook.” (Mean Streets, 1973)

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118 responses to “Mook of the Month

  1. Jeremy Cardash

    Where can I get a combat kippa like that! Does it have side pockets as well?

  2. Must have gone to Hasmo …

  3. Daniel Bentley

    Did you get the picture from London et Kirshboim? I think that is where i saw it

  4. It’s sad just to have a whole link/tab dedicated for expressing contempt at people. Isn’t life about taking the good with the bad?

    How about running a feature alongside Mook of the Month, say Rebbe of the Month (or something like that), singling out people or public figures for praise, who have said or done good stuff.

    Eg you singled out Berkoff and there must be others.

  5. That drawing looks like the gestapo officer from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Unless, Melchett has had more plastic surgery than Michael Jackson recently, it looks nothing like Melchett, never mind the croquet faux pas. Next time, say your hobbies include mixed martial arts and ninja skills. The “artist” will not dare to mess the picture up.

  6. Don’t recall that Raiders character, Iron, but he must have been a most Semitic looking Gestapo officer!

    And, talking of “ninja[s]”, you know me . . . I am always partial to a bit of ninje. 😉

  7. The drawing looks like the mamzer who imprinted his palm with a medallion near the beginning of the film so that the nazi filth could make a replica. And we all know that in real life you look more like Brad Pitt.

    Well, you have similar armpits, at least.

  8. Funny you should have a picture of Roy Keane just above one of Ahmedinajad. I thought the two looked remarkably similar before Keane decided to shave off his salt ‘n’ pepper beard.

  9. Roy Keane is scum. To deliberately go out to end another players career is something that he should have been banned from the game for – permanently.

    He is a disloyal PoS, and nothing makes me happier in football than watching him fail miserably in management.

  10. Keane was correct in saying that the goalkeeper and the defenders should not have let the ball bounce in the penalty area without getting to it first. One of the Irish players interviewed afterwards agreed with Keane on that. Don’t forget Keane was discovered by God’s boss, the late Brian Clough (not Mr Marks) and seems to have picked up on one or two of his man management skills. It would be difficult not to. Maybe, he’ll drag Ipswich back up the table.

    Keane’s not the only scum bag who should have been banned for violent tackling. Like binge drinking, violence is part of the game’s culture, unfortunately. There are loads more layers who battered and continue to lunge at opponents and sometimes team mates. Jack Charlton once spoke about players keeping black books on each other for those types of things. Pity, Paul Elliott failed in his attempt to claim damages for being on the receiving end. Otherwise ‘leg breakers’ would be outlawed. Instead Bosman got his way and now the idiots are paid too much to chase pigs’ bladders.

  11. Thank you for that, Dovid . . . I had forgotten all about December’s mook (just added)!

    In view of the blatant cheating by Va Va C*nt which followed, Keane blaming defenders for letting the ball bounce is akin to blaming a child for peeing in the bushes when there’s a paedophile hiding in them!

    You are obviously a Scummer yourself.

  12. When Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab failed to ignite, we were shown a picture of his underwear. The underwear was pristine white. I don’t understand how this is possible if he was trying to blow his balls off.

  13. Mike, Undoubtedly, the Irish didn’t deserve to do go out in that manner but still, they should have cleared it. Sunday league teams let the ball bounce behind them in the box. Paid professional footballers are trained to do better. You’re right though, Keane’s a bad egg and a hooligan who was employed to play a game otherwise meant for gentlemen.

    Who are you calling scummer?! I had two friends hospitalised, one of whom was put into intensive care after leaving Elland Road and being mauled by the Tykes in 94’.

    That is why Stretford United fans sing,

    ‘Hey it’s the Leeds scum, so bitter and twisted are they,
    They’d rather just hate Man Utd than cheer their own team on any day.’

    Well done on your FA cup upset. Beckford did brilliantly and showed Brown a clean pair of heals all game. Like Cantona before him, he pledged his allegiance to the white shirt before heading for the exit.

  14. By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread until you return to the ground from which you were taken: For you are dust, and to dust shall you return.

    Genesis (3:19)

    Sir Taggart gets into work at 7.00 am and hasn’t had a day off since beginning as a sixteen year old apprentice, reputedly. Unlike the part time lawyers of this world at least he puts in the hours.

  15. Dovid, you forgot to mention that Fergascum loves his work so much that he even tries to get time added to games (though only when his Munichs aren’t winning, mind).

  16. I can’t believe that it took you nearly a year to put Sir Alex of Fergie on your Mook site. I don’t think you hate United as much as you pretend.
    Also, did you ever wonder why the pictures of the underwear bomber’s pants were clean?

  17. Henri Berest

    Dubai Police Chief looks a bit like Ernie Bilko…..without the brain.

  18. Funny that, Henri, I thought the same thing . . . but didn’t think anyone else would see it!

  19. dizengoff dave

    spot on, melchett! just looking at olmert makes me wanna chunder!

  20. Dovid Maslin

    Here is one more contemptible for the list. When will Frankie Boyle receive the hiding he deserves? I dare say his Roman Catholic schooling played its part in forming his anti-semitic mind set. I think Catholicism produces more anti-semites than Islam.

  21. . . . of the English language?!

    Shame. I feel kind of attached to my first Mook. And in the mugshot – below the main pic in your link – he doesn’t look a bad lad.

    Anyway, well spotted.

  22. Not sure the poor, young flatfoot arresting an undoubtedly dishevelled Dylan wandering around some grimy, NJ burgh should qualify for Mook o’ da Month. Seems to me most soap-dodgers these days wouldn’t know Mr Zimmerman from Mr Magoo–hell, I barely recognise the shaky ole warbler m’self; and I like his “voice like sand and glue” so much I paid a tweenager to put Slow Train Coming on my ipod.

    The rest are a gang-a-twatz, tho, no danger…

  23. Yeh, Jimbo, perhaps I was a little harsh on our Kristie . . . but it is just such a great story! And I just love the official police explanation:

    “I don’t think she was familiar with his entire body of work.”

    Even though, as a “born again” album, it was slammed by critics and diehards, I love Slow Train too!

  24. Heh…I kinda dig her psych-ward escapee euphemism “came from one of our hospitals or something”, too.

    And, yeah, I can see why the whole St. Bob thingy was a bit of a shocka for everyone, but at least he didn’t pull a Cat Stevens (puss be upon ‘im)!

    …now there’s a Mook of the Month waiting to happen…

  25. …oh, and Mike, noticed you mentioned liking Tom Waits, too. What did you think of his hapless foray into political commentary–his “Road to Peace” drivel? I still like his music, sure, but after hearing that song, I just can’t listen to it with the same relish as I used to–and refuse to give him another penny.

    It really is disappointing when entertainers you really like turn out to be witless swine, eh. (that last Canadian “eh” was emphatic rather than interrogative, so no “?”….)

  26. Hey, Jimbo. Must admit it, I don’t yet possess Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards . . . and, after reading those lyrics, not sure I should! Shades of Bob’s awful Neighborhood Bully.

    I understood the “eh”. Anyhow, even when you do use question marks on this blog, many folk don’t seem to understand their significance – see adjacent discussion!

  27. Costello has shamed the name of Elvis. If you want a good piece of non-PC music, try Megadeath’s “United abomiNations”… an album about the UN horror show. Even if you cannot stand thrash metal, enjoy some of the lyrics of Amerikhastan.

    No rules of engagement, this enemy hides
    amongst women and children and to beat violence, you must ignore the focus groups
    you must send in the Mossad, turn off the BBC, CNN and don’t look back.

    ….. a roaring lion is about to be unleashed on earth. HEY, Jihad Joe? Guess what? We’re coming to get you!!

    Recruiting the ill-fated for “the war”, a legion of uneducated, bankrupt souls with a lust for revenge, answering the call from New Yorqatar to Califarabia.

    Desperation provides fertile ground for religious extremism this glorious brainwashing where prejudice lies like a crouching tiger tormenting peasents till they erect an army under everyone’s nose in the end propaganda destroys their DNA…..

  28. Iron, infrequent – and eccentric! – though your comments to melchett mike may be, they are invariably well worth the wait . . . this latest one because your reference to “Costello” was an extremely welcome reminder of “Hill”:

  29. Re Marc Mezvinsky (July 2010) . . .

    Are you saying that a Jewish man can only wear a tallit and kippah if he’s an orthodox Jewish (frummer) and not marrying a shiksa? You barely scratch the surface of the age-old argument ‘who is a Jew’ by questioning this guy’s motivation… I’m not sure you have a chair-leg to stand on here.

  30. No, Stevie boy, I am not saying that. Mezvinsky can do what he likes (and he did).

    But he’s only kidding himself. And, if not making a mockery of Jewish tradition, he scrubbed it of virtually all depth and meaning.

    I mean, do you see much point in him commemorating the destruction of the Temples whilst tying the knot with our Chelsea? Gimme a break!

  31. Mike, I was thinking the same thing (about Marc Mezvinsky). He and Chelsea are on the front cover of People magazine (as well as many other publications)…he with his tallis and kippah on. I don’t think he is trying to be a frummer, I think that is just his connection to Judaism. It’s a bit much though for all these public photos.

  32. To understand the motivation of Marc Mezvinsky, the son of the convicted fraudster, one has to know the majority of non-observant North American Jewry. They have no understanding of their religious heritage and regard their Judaism as something cultural. Eating “lox” is part of their celebration. Wearing a white silk scarf with tassles at their wedding is what they have seen in films. These are the type of ignorants who believe anti-Zionism is just concern for human rights, and not anti-Semitism. They just don’t know any better. And frankly, if you are going to marry a non-Jew, at least get a hot one. He is going to end up with someone looking like Hilary. What was wrong with Monica Lewinsky?

  33. Hay, watch it ‘Iron’…I am North American…and I enjoy ‘lox’!!!

  34. Laurie, not saying that you cannot enjoy lox, or being North American for that matter. Nevertheless, eating lox appears to be the extent of the Jewish cultural affiliation and knowledge for a large number of those who identify themselves as being of Jewish descent and who live in North America. That’s why you get anti-Semitic films invited to take part in “Jewish” film festivals (e.g. the Rachel Corrie film in SF). Identification is more with the Democratic Party’s allegedly left wing ideology than Judaism.

  35. Whilst almost every Jew you might meet will claim the Almighty only views a matrilineally descended Jew as being Jewish, it is very hard to prove this, especially in light of Moshe Rabenu marrying a shiksa, King David marrying a shiksa and the prophet Hosea marrying a prostitute (at G-d’s behest) – and not getting withering ‘mook’ comments from a rather lesser placed Melchett Mike.

  36. Hi Steve,

    1. Our sages maintain that in all Tzipora converted to Judaism. Being that she personally circumcised her son, this seems quite likely.

    2. The same goes for all the non-Jewish wives that Jewish Kings took.

    3. Interpreters argue about Hosea, but many including the Rambam insist that the marrying the Zona (not exactly prostitute) was more of a vision or dream than reality. Either way, I don’t know of any suggestion that she was not Jewish.

    4. While there are general statements in the Torah about not marrying your children to non-Jews:

    Do not intermarry with them; do not give your daughter to his son, and do not take his daughter for your son.
    For he will cause your son to turn away from Me, and they will worship the gods of others…
    (Deuteronomy 7:3)

    It appears that these were not fully adhered to until the time of Ezra the scribe:

    “We have transgressed against our G-d by marrying women who are foreign to the people. But there is still hope for Israel despite this. Let us now make a covenant with our G-d to expel all these women and those who have been born to them, in accordance with the bidding of Hashem and those eager to fulfill our G-d’s Commandment, and let the Torah be obeyed.” (Ezra 10:2-3)

  37. Thank you, Daniel, for your learned response.

    Steve, you obviously didn’t read my previous reply. I have no problem with Mezvinsky marrying a “shiksa” (to use your nomenclature).

    What has earned him mookness, however, is the way in which he “made a mockery” – to quote the late, great Rabbi Dovid Cooper z”l – of “three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax” (Walter Sobchak).

    And I haven’t even mentioned the fact that he got married on Shabbos!

  38. I fully agree that in all [likelihood] those women did convert to Judaism (or whatever proto-religion it was then), but it certainly wasn’t the religion there is today.

    Indeed one can still find elements of the original Judaic patrilineality where Kohanim and Levi’im are concerned, and especially in the Davidic messianic hope, not to mention DNA testing showing the patrilineal descendency.

    The question seems to be here, is this man who is halachically Jewish (as I am) allowed to express his Judaism and Judaic connections in a way that appears distasteful to the Rabbinic hegemony of modern Judaism (that seems to be accepted without question)?

  39. “Allowed”? Yes.

    Without being ridiculed? Most definitely no!!

  40. After all this intellectual talk, I still think that he should have married Monica Lewinsky.

  41. Latest “Mook of the Month”, Eli Yishai, is now getting greedy by going for “Doofus of the Day” too. Wanting to deport 400 Hebrew-speaking children born in Israel (see “August 2010” above), he has today been posing for the cameras for granting citizenship to one woman (not that she doesn’t deserve it) . . .

    http://www.haaretz.com/news/national/israel-grants-citizenship-to-mumbai-nanny-for-bravery-1.313631

    What a slime.

  42. Re September 2010 . . .

    In ” Sex and the City”, the ginger mook didn’t understand much about sex… I can see now she doesn’t understand much about anything!

  43. Julian Assange –
    I have to say I am with the leakers on this one. For too long, international relations has been like looking at spoilt kids in a kindergarten.
    Secrecy only encourages it.
    Just think. August 1914 and Kaiser Wilhelm actually knows that if he goes to war with France he will find himself fighting the British. World War 1 might not have happened.
    Last day of August 1939. Germany is ready to invade Poland. She does not know what Britain and France intend to do but has a strong suspicion they will either bottle out as in the Rhineland and the Anschluss or actually say OK as with Czechoslovakia.

  44. Interesting point, Geoff . . . though we would never have known anything about the life of my great-grandfather, General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett VC DSO KCB:

  45. Jonathan Bernstein

    Perhaps we should walk into a car dealer and say “I would be willing to pay up to $20,000 for this car” to which he would respond “Nonsense, my good man! I would be willing to accept as low as 15.”
    Unfortunately, negotiations, game theory and and confidentiality are how the world works and, while it would be nice in theory to know everyone’s thoughts at the time, airing them after the fact can only be reckless endangerment.

  46. I disagree. Airing them during the fact could be reckless endangerment. The threat of everything being aired after the fact can only lead to more responsible decision taking.

  47. Jonathan Bernstein

    But surely that undermines the whole process of negotiation (not to mention poker playing).
    In any business negotiation each party has their own level of expectations and minimum requirement for satisfaction.
    I am interested in the WWI analogy as it seems to impy that the world would be a better place if everyone knew everyone else’s breaking point and worked just within that? Isn’t that the problem with Noach’s generation that everyone stole just below the legally punishable amount?
    You end up with a world where people make decisions based on the consequences of their actions, rather than the morality of their actions.
    How would you envision the Middle East stalemate being improved by greater information sharing? What if the Palestinians knew exactly how much we would be willing to give up for peace? That would not aid discussions it would merely form a new starting point for them.

  48. Well, the lead up to World War 1 hardly produced any kind of moral result, and the reason it didn’t was because each country was looking for nothing more than its own national interest and some warped idea of global strategy, and they did not know all of the variables.
    I still believe that they would have negotiated in better faith had there been a real possibility that their actual considerations were liable to be revealed to the public in the near future.
    In fact Kaiser Wilhelm is on record as saying that he would not have gone to war had he known he was going to end up fighting the British as well. He knew the Kriegsmarine was no match for the Royal Navy.
    So the question is, why was the British – French mutual defence treaty kept secret?
    As for Israeli – Palestinian negotiations, remember the Palestinian minimalist position would also be known to the Israeli side. Actually I don’t think that is the problem here. I think everyone knows everyone else’s minimalist positions pretty well. The problem is that they overlap. It is also fairly obvious to the Palestinian leadership that certain Israeli leaders have larger minimalist positions than others, making now an inauspicious time to negotiate.
    Hatreds not vowed and concealed are to be feared more than those openly declared. (Marcus Tullius Cicero)
    And as for your illustrious ancestor, Mike, he was the one who ordered Captain Blackadder and the others over the top, ending the series with needless slaughter. Needless slaughter OK, he was a general in WW1 but ending the series…

  49. tbh, i don’t think that these leaks have anything we didn’t actually know already…but yes…that haircut 🙂

  50. Whether or not you like this guy or what he has done, you have to admit he has a gigantic set of steel balls. He is “all in” taking on the USSA, who apparently now have the same respect for freedom of the press, due process and civil liberties (i.e. the right to read Wikileaks and post comments about it) as the former USSR.

    http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/12/04/dont-mention-the-cables-future-diplomats/?hp

    The Canadian government (Prime Minister’s advisor) is following suit by issuing a fatwah for his death.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/canada/8172920/Julian-Assange-should-be-assassinated-former-Canada-adviser-claims.html

    It is telling that the recent tsunami of outrage and threats from governments against Assange came, not after the release of the Iraqi files or the US diplomatic cables, but instead after Assange revealed that he would be releasing info that might bring down one or two of the big banks. I for one can’t wait to see what he has on this.

    http://blogs.forbes.com/andygreenberg/2010/11/29/an-interview-with-wikileaks-julian-assange/

    In addition to his big balls, this guy clearly packs a punch with his schlong. Not only does he tag two chicks who “volunteer” for him, but clearly his condoms are no match for his manhood since he apparently has been ripping right through them (the sexual offense he allegedly committed).

  51. Mike

    I am puzzled by the degree of vitriol you throw Michael Assange’s way. Looking at the rest of your Mook of the Month” list, he just does not seem to fit with these anti-Semites, anti-Zionists and some other mean-spirited people you have rightfully attacked before. I would be very interested to know which leaks in particular seem to offend you so much that you would want him to spend the rest of his life in jail (with Michael Moore, no less). I don’t pretend to be the most informed of your readers, but it seems to me that all the leaks thus far may be classified as “confidential,” but certainly are not “secrets” per-say. Listing a few for example:

    Hillary Clinton asked foreign diplomats to spy. Well, duhhhh! Everyone knows that what diplomats do all round the world.

    A number of governments consider Ahmadinejad to be a dangerous megalomaniac. I repeat, duhhh!

    The Chinese can’t really control Kom Jonj-Il, and are losing patience with the North Korean regime. Again, well known and a good thing for the North Koreans to be aware of.

    The US military has accidentally killed innocent civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan. Well friendly fire is a fact of war that has always existed and always will. Any intelligent individual is aware of this.

    Possibly, I am unaware of some “life-threatening” leaks, and if that is the case, I would be interested in knowing what they are, and why they have made you so angry. I actually find it quite offensive that these world governments consider us too stupid to handle the truth of what they are saying and thinking behind closed doors.

    Let the information flow – sans peur et sans reproche.

  52. Funny you should post that now, Ben . . .

    Just a few hours ago, during a discussion about WikiLeaks with a friend who is an admirer of Mr. Assange, it became very clear to me that the only good reason I had for mookifying him was that he has a poncey haircut. I don’t know what must have got into me that morning.

    Anyway, on the way home from my friend’s, this evening, I thought about deleting November’s mook. But that would merely be covering up the injustice I had done Mr. Assange (and he definitely would not approve of that!) . . . so, he is pardoned (see above) with an apology.

    Bloody hell . . . I admitted I was wrong! 😉

  53. Well I grant you the ponsy haircut. As for your retraction; it shows character. Well done.

  54. Albert de Gogan

    The truth is they have all been caught looking the wrong way as regards Egypt and the rioting. The yanks immediate and only interest will be Saudi their cash cow they will be doing what ever it takes to keep the oil flowing.

    It would be interesting to hear how you guys see the situation all we are getting here is bias reporting in support of the rioters.

    The E.D.L. were demonstrating in Luton today and they were carrying English and Israeli flags what’s that all about?

  55. Albert,

    I fear that John Fisher’s criticism of your punctuation – no less harsh (if somewhat more rational), I thought, than his application of Hilchos Shabbos – may have resulted in an overcompensation on your part: from too much punctuation – and in the wrong place – to hardly any at all.

    So I say to my former Rosh Machaneh from Ra’anana: stick to tax!

  56. I would rather stick to Syntax. And as for not being Zoycheh to Friday night dinner at Chez Fisher (on your terms), consider it a Sin Tax.

    albert – i echo mike’s . sentiments on this. please keep to. your own inimitable style and carry on contributing. i loved that reference to michael collins (it was you .wasnt it) in the cemetery – a gem.

  57. “Sin tax” . . . even a word master like Cyril would be proud of that!

    If Mrs. Fisher is willing to accomodate little Stuart and Dexxy for an entire Shabbos – even though they won’t be allowed into shul (in spite of their probably being significantly quieter and better behaved than their Ra’anana cousins!) – I will gladly be “Zoycheh” . . . though I suspect that you are more likely to first ask a different Rov about the permissibility of saving a Tel Aviv ‘goy’ from a restaurant on Friday night!

    I first mentioned the Michael Collins-Michael Noyek-Michael Isaacson connection here. Another nice snippet – it sounds like a porky, though I assure you it is not (Noyek’s daughter is living in London and I could try and get her on here) – is that, when Noyek was buried in Dublin’s Jewish cemetery, men in balaclavas with guns turned up and gave him a full military send off. Gave the Dublin Yidden a bit of a shock, by all accounts . . . 😉

  58. Albert de Gogan

    Hello Mike and John,

    I will stick the old commas in were I think they should go, until I get my book from Amazon. Who claims to teach all the rules of punctuation which has eluded me for so long. That’s why the long suffering Mrs G, ran the office and kept me on the straight and narrow, (no mean achievement).

    Michael Noyek was one of the prime movers in the Irish struggle for independence. And a great friend of Michael Collins and Arthur Griffith, (the first President of Sinn Fein) many Irish Jews were involved. The high profile ones were M Noyek R Briscoe and the Great Rabbi Herzog (Rabbi Herzog was a fluent Irish speaker). The Dublin Jews were heavily targeted by the British forces because of their involvement. And Rabbi Herzog assisted De Valera to write the Irish constitution. Included in the constitution the parents of any child born in Ireland, automatically received Irish citizenship I think that’s the way it went. I know it gave all the Jews citizenship, I remember my dad talking about it, a long time ago.

    Last week I got the Nick Harris book “Dublin’s Little Jerusalem”, a wonderful read I will read it again next week. Mike, Nick and your Dad were good mates and used to go on holidays together. It will be great if your aunt signs on, is she Sam or Michael’s daughter?.

    All the best,

    Albert.

    P.S. Mike is Stuart a Scottish Terrier? we had one but she died two years ago of old age. We still miss her.

  59. Yes, Albert, my dad and Nick were indeed good mates (my mum’s got a signed copy of the book in her flat in Netanya) . . .

    In 2005, when I was living in London, I visited Dublin for a Euro qualifier vs Israel. I went to shul (Terenure – Adelaide Road had closed) on the Shabbos morning, and someone pointed out Nick, whom I had never met (except perhaps at my barmitzvah). He had recently celebrated his 90th birthday. I immediately went up to him, and he took one look at me, and – without me saying anything – his eyes started to well up with tears: he knew that I was “Harold’s boy.” It was very moving. My then girlfriend and I went back to his flat afterwards for kiddush. He was so lovely that we didn’t want to leave! I met him again when he visited his daughter in London. He passed away in 2009.

    Re your question, she is Michael’s daughter. Lives in Earls Court area. Will try to track her down. Would be fascinating to hear a daughter’s account.

    And Stuey is, we believe, part Schnauzer (part Mamzer!) . . . and a star.

  60. In the week when America marks the centennial of one of its favorite sons, President Mook-of-the-Month would be wise to take note of this little known snippet about the Gipper.

    In 1983, President Reagan ordered the invasion of Grenada, an island with a population of around 100,000, due to a military coup there. Remarkably, the operation succeeded. When asked at a meeting later that day by an adviser (who related the story to the person who related it to me) why he had reversed an earlier decision not to attack, he replied, “Well, Alan, I just sat back and thought to myself, ‘What would John Wayne have done?’”.

    The Great Communicator embodied Main Street’s attitude to foreign policy:
    1. The world is made up of Cowboys and Injuns.
    2. The Cowboys have to beat the Injuns.
    3. If the Cowboys cannot beat the Injuns, they have to surround them with their wagon train and wait for them to come out with their hands above their heads.

    Barack Hussein O’Mook has to understand that his appeasement of the Moslem world is just not going to wash with his public. Americans need their Injuns and today’s Injun’s wander around swelteringly hot countries that don’t even have a Wal-Mart, swathed in old sheets. Those undesirables are going to have to be water-boarded to extinction or surrounded until they surrender to the American way of life.

    Mr Mook is a fundamentally decent individual, a supreme achiever and exceptionally intelligent. But there’s the rub. His nation likes to Keep It Simple and, if all goes well, they will be putting him on a hay wagon back to Dixie just shy of two years from now.

  61. Problem is Barack Amoeba can’t seem to decide who are the Cowboys and who the Injuns.

    I just got back from hearing Natan Sharansky. In answer to a question re Egypt, he brought up the criminal (my word) equivocation of Amoeba and Biden at the time of the 2009 uprising in Iran. A golden opportunity missed.

    This time, however, in spite of his faults, they should be supporting the long-term US ally, the stiff-necked Pharaoh named Hosni.

    Even with my degree in phil/pol, I say screw democracy and the Michael Moore School of Liberal Masturbation! Neither are a substitute for the moral clarity of a Ronnie Reagan, a Maggie “This is no time to go wobbly, George!” Thatcher, or of a Georgie W. Bush.

    They all knew who the baddies were. And so do we. Anyone who believes those towelheads are capable of instituting anything other than trouble – at least for Israel and the West – is deluded.

    melchett mike likes to “Keep It Simple,” too!

  62. Albert de Gogan

    Nick Harris comes over in his book as a very nice guy, as I am sure your dad was. There is a picture of Nick on the back cover of his book, and I felt I had seen him before. Then I remembered, we used to have lunch at the Donabate golf club every Sunday. And it makes sense that Nick could have gone there. Because one of my dads mates was a wholesaler in the rag trade. And there was a lot of business done at the club.

    The next time you talk to your uncle Percy, Mike, ask him if he remembers Bang Bang, and Hairy Lemon. Dublin was full of characters like that in the fifties, most likely damaged through the war.

    Another sad thing that time was the poverty, seeing kids without shoes in the winter was not uncommon. People like my family who had money life was sweet, for anyone who was out of work their only choice was to leave Ireland. Most saved and sent for the wives and kids when they got a place together. Some went on the drink, and forgot about their families. And it was their kids who walked with inadequate clothing, and no shoes. Needless to say very little food, and the women would be at their wits end. With very little help from the state.

    I read in Nicks book that Sam Noyek saw kids without shoes, and went to the local convent and gave the nuns £500, to provide shoes for the needy in the area. What a top man.

    I hope you manage to contact your aunt Mike, first hand information is so important while our relatives are still around. I wish I had asked more questions when mine were still here.

    Regard to you Mike, your mum, and the dogs

    Albert

  63. Mike – in case there was any doubt, I came to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

    Albert – forgive me for saying that you pop up in the most unlikely places. This category is “Mook of the Month”. Are you running away from something? Is the IRA after you? Or are you afraid of dream peddling Rabbis?

  64. But is “Caesar” in this case Hosni B or Barack Ob? The latter, I suspect. Which I understood from your original comment (re Cowboys). Your reference to Reagan just struck a chord – especially since I was watching Super Bowl highlights, at the time! – and thought I would just share melchett’s “Keep It Simple” approach to political theory, too!

    In Albie’s defence, it was actually you, John, who brought up Michael Collins here!

    “Bang Bang” and “Hairy Lemon” . . . love it, Albert! So Dublin! My dad would often reminisce about the various characters, even comparing me to some of the more extreme ones when I would displease him! One who springs to mind was a cricket umpire (at Carlisle, I think) whose application of the laws of the game would depend on which team was batting! So, when he didn’t want to give a batsman out, he would respond to bowlers’ appeals with “Sorry . . . I wasn’t looking”!! (I did try to bring my discussions with you to Percy’s attention, but he was hospitalised shortly afterwards and hasn’t been at all well since. And still trying to track down Michael Noyek’s daughter.)

    Incidentally, I found this on the Web, yesterday: http://www.dublin.ie/forums/showthread.php?9634-Dublin-s-Little-Jerusalem-by-Nick-Harris

  65. Albert de Gogan

    Dear John,

    I my defence I would like to state the following . . .

    In Ireland the inevitable never happens, and the unexpected constantly occurs.

    As regards the I.R.A, I never respected them, for starting the Civil War in Ireland. Led by Machiavelli’s pupil De Valera.

    As regards Rabbis, I have found the ones I have met, engaging and very sincere men. And I have often thought, how comforting it would be if I could feel like that.

    To return to the subject of Egypt, the military will determine what happens there. And I can’t see them allowing an Islamist party to take power. The place to really watch is Pakistan.

    Albert

  66. Albert de Gogan

    Dear Mike,

    I was sorry to hear about Percy being ill, I hope they are keeping him comfortable and he recovers soon.

    My dad was the same as yours, he had nicknames for all the family. My mother was Her Ladyship, my eldest brother was “Johnny forty coats” because he had a motorbike and wore a lot of cloths.

    I enjoyed reading the comments on that site you linked Mike. I never had any problems growing up in Dublin, most of my friends were not Jewish and have remained my friends all my life.

    In Nick’s book he commented on your dad popping his gold medals when he was short of a few bob. James Joyce used to do the same thing. As a matter of fact, he popped them for the last time, when he used the money to take him and Nora Barnacle to Switzerland.

    Albert

  67. Indeed! I was “His Lordship” . . . when I was in his good books, at least! And I think I recall the story about dad pawning his medals.

    Funny you should mention Joyce: I picked up Ulysses, last week, in my friend’s secondhand bookstore. About to start it. A disgrace, with my background, that it has taken me this long! I hear it is hard going . . .

    Don’t know if you heard that another Dubliner, Robert Segal, has opened two Irish pubs in Tel Aviv: one called Molly Bloom’s and the other Leo Bloom’s.

  68. Mike – if you get past the funeral scene I will buy you lunch (that is where I retired exhausted and totally defeated), Portrait of the Artist and Dubliners are a lot friendlier.

    Albert – You must have loved Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man with all that church-bashing and the priest’s speech to the boys about the worms crawling out of their eyes. Pity there were no rabbis (only Dedalus made it across from Ulysses and Bloom wasn’t much of a frumer anyway). But then again, in the transition from the Osher category to the Mook of the Month category you seem to have had an epiphany and rabbis are no longer dream peddlers and liars but engaging and very sincere. That’s a quicker change of heart than Obamas’s feelings towards Mubarak.

  69. Great link Mike. I was in Clanbrassil St. on my last visit to Dublin, about 5 years ago, for old-times sake. Not a Jewish shop to be seen. I can remember going there as a child with my grandmother.
    You and Albert may be interested in this:
    http://www.thejc.com/jewish-museum/44659/dublin-museums-%C2%A39m-facelift
    which I came across the other day.
    The ex-Dublin Jews keep up with each other thru’ an email chat group called Shalom Ireland (Mike – if you’re interested, I’ll ask my dad for the details).

  70. Albert de Gogan

    My father was a great dad, he liked bending the elbow a bit which drove my mother crazy when he was late for his dinner. Everything he did was what he saw as best for us. Of course me as a stroppy git, decided I knew better and lived to regret it. I can understand why on occasion, when we deserved it he called us “Mutton-headed eejits” but he never hit us.

    Yosef’s bookshop sounds fantastic, when I was a kid in Dublin there were lots of secondhand bookshops. It was through them that I required my love of reading. To this present day I have to read at least one chapter to relax me before I can sleep.

    Joyce’s Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, is a good one to start with Mike. Though a generation before your father, it will give you a feel what it would have been like during his Trinity days. Ulysses is a lovely book, with the wonderful Leo Bloom, who always wanted to please his cow of a wife Molly.

    I always meant to ask you if they sold Guinness in T.A. now I know! I had a good look at both sites, and I was very impressed with the young ladies, and the Guinness also looked good.

    Take care,

    Albert

  71. Albert de Gogan

    John, I suppose everyman is the sum of his experience, and I don’t think I am any different. Last week I watched a documentary about a lovely old lady called Alice Herz-Sommer. She was a talented concert pianist from Czechoslovakia, and very famous throughout Europe before the Nazi war. She is now 106, and her take on life should be a lesson to us all.

    I agree John, Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man is a good read. And Ulysses is hard going and Finnegan’s Wake is impossible. The most interesting book I read, about what was going on in Joyce’s life up to the time of his death, was Nora.

    It is also interesting to read Oliver St John Gogarty’s relationship with Joyce in his very informative account of Dublin at that time, As I Walked Down Sackville Street (now O’Connell Street). Gogarty was depicted in Portrait of an Artist as Buck Mulligan.

    The following is a poem written by Gogarty, and sent to Joyce which he included in his book.

    “The Ballard of Leaping Jesus”

    I’m the queerest young fellow that ever was heard.
    My mother’s a Jew; my father’s a Bird
    With Joseph the Joiner I cannot agree
    So ‘Here’s to the Disciples and Calvary.’

    If anyone thinks that I amn’t divine,
    He gets no free drinks when I’m making the wine
    But have to drink water and wish it were plain
    That I make when the wine becomes water again.

    My methods are new and are causing surprise:
    To make the blind see I throw dust in their eyes
    To signify merely there must be a cod
    If the Commons will enter the Kingdom of God

    Now you know I don’t swim and you know I don’t skate
    I came down to the ferry one day and was late.
    So I walked on the water and all cried, in faith!
    For a Jewman it’s better than having to bathe.

    Whenever I enter in triumph and pass
    You will find that my triumph is due to an ass
    (And public support is a grand sinecure
    When you once get the public to pity the poor.)

    Then give up your cabin and ask them for bread
    And they’ll give you a stone habitation instead
    With fine grounds to walk in and raincoat to wear
    And the Sheep will be naked before you’ll go bare.

    The more men are wretched the more you will rule
    But thunder out ‘Sinner’ to each bloody fool;
    For the Kingdom of God (that’s within you) begins
    When you once make a fellow acknowledge he sins.

    Rebellion anticipates timely by ‘Hope,’
    And stories of Judas and Peter the Pope
    And you’ll find that you’ll never be left in the lurch
    By children of Sorrows and Mother the Church

    Goodbye, now, goodbye, you are sure to be fed
    You will come on My Grave when I rise from the Dead
    What’s bred in the bone cannot fail me to fly
    And Olivet’s breezy—Goodbye now Goodbye.

  72. As for Ulysses, I took it to bed with me, with the best of intentions, early yesterday evening . . .

    I read Joyce’s letter to Random House – following the decision that it was not, after all, obscene, and could therefore be published in the US – and the District Court Judge’s opinion to that effect. Altogether less than 10 pages.

    I then commenced Part I, but immediately (in the 2nd or 3rd line) hit Latin I didn’t understand (I went to Hasmonean) . . . and fell asleep!

    I think it’ll be HOT Movies, this evening. 😉

  73. Albert – After a day of dogfighting in another category of this blog your comment is a real breath of fresh air. I believe that Kafka used to visit Alice’s house when she was a young woman. I also felt truly inspired by the optimism that has remained with her through her life despite appalling setbacks.

    As regards Ulysses, I think I recall that, in 1999, the BBC took a poll of the best novel of the 20th century in the English Language. Third place went to Animal Farm, second place to Lord of the Rings and first place to Ulysses. Auberon Waugh said that this was absolute proof that the English are a nation of pseuds because hardly anyone reads Ulysses from beginning to end and even fewer understand it.

  74. I have reinstated Julian Assange as November’s mook, overturning my original pardon after reading this. Like going back to an old bird, I should never have doubted my original instinct.

  75. Ben Wulfsohn

    OK, reinstate Julian (although he denies the alleged comments were made and you have already decided whom you believe), but for his personal prejudices, and not for his work with Wikileaks. Your original instincts remain flawed given that they were based in the presumption that his work with Wikileaks was damaging and an assumption of (unproven) guilt regarding his rape charges.

    Can I recommend John Galliano as the next “Mook of the Month”?

  76. You appear to be confused, Ben: this is Mook of the Month on melchett mike . . . not the Court of F*cking Appeal! 😉

  77. For ex-Hasmos . . .

    Doesn’t Goldstone-in-Garb (see photo at top) bear an unfortunate (for “Genghis”) resemblance to Rabbi Kahan?!

  78. anthony davidson

    John:

    Re your prior statement “Mr Mook is a fundamentally decent individual, a supreme achiever and exceptionally intelligent” . . .

    Clearly the carbon monoxide emitting from Kav 29 has affected you. I invite you to the USA to get a closer look at someone who is remarkably naive, inexperienced, self-aggrandizing, and most definitely pernicious.

  79. Call the moser goldstone by his real shortened name, DICK. I could not call him a c*nt because I like those.

  80. Moshe Abelesz

    I don’t think that David Badiel was ever funny – do not understand his appeal at all

  81. Correct. In the words of Clive Anderson, is there no beginning to his talent? He just used to give Frank Skinner (who is funny) carte blanche to make crude Jewish references at his (and our) expense. I am generally not that sensitive about such things, but Fantasy Football and Skinner and Baddiel Unplanned just used to make me cringe. And now for him to come out with this film . . . what a mook!

  82. Mark Schechter

    This is the first time I’ve been stirred to comment on a melchettmike blog.

    I think you’re wrong about this. I don’t think it’s self-publicity. On the contrary, I think he’s putting his neck on the block on this issue career-wise. To side himself as a proud Jew is not exactly going to endear him to the British public. He also had a recent big hit film on general release, The Infidel, so his career’s not on the wane.

    Baddiel is doing a good thing raising awareness of the Y word. I say this even though I, and a good % of Yiddishe Spurs fans, use it at matches & in general conversation. It’s a badge of honour for Spurs fans, Jewish or not. It make us proud to see 30,000 Goyim singing our name proudly. Jews haven’t got too many supporters after all.

    However, it is used by West Ham, Chelsea etc in a virulently anti-semitic way and this is what Baddiel is highlighting as I’m sure he’s felt more than a little uncomfortable on several ocassions at Chelski. Also, I view his Fantasy Footy youtube clip as lighthearted fun.

    Shek!

  83. Chuffed to have finally provoked you out of your passivity, Shek, though I think you may have missed the point I was trying to make . . .

    While I am sure that the use, by West Ham and Chelsea (etc) fans, of “the Y word” is far from affectionate/friendly, I find it sickening that Baddiel – the (former, at least) Jewish stooge – is now moralising on the wrongs of using such language. Unlike you, I find the two YouTube clips above – and there are many more – highly distasteful, replete as they are with cheap Jewish stereotypes.

    I suppose you could argue that Baddiel may have changed, but his coming out with this film appears to me something like Moshe Katsav making one on a woman’s right to say “no”! And I don’t see that Baddiel is “putting his neck on the block . . . career-wise” by doing so – anti-racism is always a sure way to win friends.

    Bottom line, I guess, is that I wish that someone with more integrity than Baddiel had come out with this film.

  84. Why not include the whole of Manchester United FC past, present and future, except for the likes of Giles, Jordan and Strachan on Mook of the month. Get it out your system once and for all Mr bitter Leeds fan!

    Giggs has done extremely well to live in the Sodom and Gomorrah premiership goldfish bowl for 20 years and commit just one indiscretion. “L’havdil a thousand half a dollars” he’s like Noah. On the other hand, which gold diggers are going to come out of the wood- work now to face hate mail and death threats?

    Besides, in the event of a Tiger Woods scenario Gigg’s wife “Staceh” could have his testicles dragged through his wallet ala Ray Parlour.

    David Baddiel was on the radio recently, talking about what it takes for a man to achieve greatness. He said years ago it took 7 influential people to announce publicly that somebody was great and then he was great. Nowadays, when that happens lots of people on Internet blogs and forums react by rubbishing the announcement. Maybe he’d been reading Melchett Mike.

  85. Has it escaped your attention, Dovid, that I made your beloved granny-shagger my Mensch of the Month a while back? I just tell it as it is . . . which is more than can be said for the illegitimate one and his fans.

    And, believe it or not, following Barca’s antics against Real, I actually wanted Scum to win on Saturday. Not that I have been mourning their defeat . . . or, rather, destruction: the first final I can recall with only one team!

  86. Rooney a mensch?? Maybe he’s a red herring.

    The Milan team with Gullit and Van Basten won a memorable one-sided final decades ago.

    The Man Utd side had little chance of winning with a weak midfield. I’m still amazed that they managed to win the domestic league with a comparatively weak side. Nobody gave them a chance last August and it was another feat of genius from your stop-watching friend that they got to the final too.

  87. Henri Berest

    It seems that far from ‘one indiscretion’, Giggsy has had another one…lasting 8 years…with his brothers wife.

  88. Yes, just heard on the radio. Now that is Scum!

  89. I was confused how the talented multi millionaire footballer ended up with a moose (after entertaining all those nice South Manchester Jewish girls in his earlier years), and yet his van driving, hard working less talented brother ended up with a fox. Now we know. Although it has cost Giggs a knighthood, unless he has been entertaining the Queen too, I don’t care. It’s not like he has gone out and glassed someone in a drunken stupor whilst chanting “do you know who I am?” Can you imagine what a great footballer he would have been if he had just concentrated on his football? He may have become the most decorated player in English football history.

  90. If Giggs had used his right foot, he would have shot wide.

  91. Admittedly, I have not been following the Giggs saga too closely (intriguing though it is) . . . but what are you on about, Iron?!

  92. Try and keep up, Melchett. Ryan Giggs apparently knocked up his brother’s wife (actually fiance at the time, 8 weeks before the wedding), and advised her to get an abortion, which she did. As you know, Giggs’ right foot is not exactly blessed with a footballer’s touch and he often shoots well wide of the target. Thus, in reference to his brother’s wife…… Rhodri Giggs was also apparently cheating on his wife/fiance for a number of years. Sounds like a nice family. Especially odd, because Giggs changed his original surname from Wilson to his mother’s maiden name because of his father’s similar extra-curricular activities. Apple did not fall far from the tree for these two brothers. Anyhow, still been an incredible footballer for United, so getting our priorities straight, that is all that really counts.

  93. I’ve got July’s mooks in early (see top of the page). What a pair of absolute wankers!

  94. Given the mooks’ left-wing credentials, who is to say that this was not a put-up job to screw Betar? What do Americans know about football anyhow?

  95. Apart from the fact that, strictly speaking, it should be this month’s mook (though, as I have pointed out before, this is my blog!), I don’t believe that there will be too many complaints about my choice for August (see top of page).

  96. Eugene Monkleton-Montefiore

    kudos for saying it like it is, melchy… those turks are as bad as the muslims.

    cousin rupert and i club medded it there a few years back and were copulating like it had gone out of fashion! lots of top russian totty there too, melchy, should the situ with the “knuckle draggers” (love it!) improve. the local geezers were so slimy, it was hardly a challenge!

    by the way, i think that davina is a piss take… no one really talks like that… well, except rupe’s pippa, perhaps!

  97. Davina Levita-Ree

    Excuse me? After being metaphorically stripped to my Victoria’s Secrets with that expose about Grandpa’s escapade with Christine Keeler, you insult the way I talk? Well, Mr BIG TALKER, you write like a toilet, you have the vocabulary of a two year old orangutan raised in Regent’s Park Zoo and, according to Mr Fisher who checked you AND ME out, you are the product of somebody’s imagination – and an extremely INFERTILE one, at that! So there!

  98. Eugene Monkleton-Montefiore

    davina darling, sounds like you are in desperate need of a good seeing-to… unfortunately jemima keeps the one-eyed snake on a rather tight leash these days!

  99. Eugene Monkleton-Montefiore

    couldn’t agree more re that towelhead abbas, mike… what tickles me is all those “anti-capitalist” dickheads in their keffiyehs, who have absolutely no problem identifying with the most backward, repressive culture on god’s good earth!

  100. Another Italian no-brainer for February. See above.

  101. Apropos March’s mook . . .

    3 April 2012

    Emma Thompson
    c/o Hamilton Hodell
    5th Floor
    66-68 Margaret Street
    London W1W 8SR

    Dear Ms Thompson

    I was deeply saddened to see you as a signatory to the letter in the Guardian urging a boycott of the Habimah theatre. Saddened because not only do I admire you as an actor and for the humanitarian work that you do but also because I would have expected someone with your intelligence not to have jumped on the trendy BDS anti-Israel bandwagon. I have a few comments to make and I hope that you will take the time and trouble to read them and reply to me.

    Firstly, you presumably have no problem with the Palestinian theatre group taking part. This despite the fact that their president, Mahmoud Abbas, has openly pronounced that no Jew will live in a Palestinian state. Why do you not question this but by your silence, tacitly accept this ethnic cleansing of Jews as normal and justified? You support the Palestinian theatre group despite their government’s penchant for glorifying suicide bombers who slay Israeli children. You support the Palestinian theatre group despite their government’s coalition with Hamas, a group that has avowed mass murder of Jews and who deliberately fire rockets into Israeli civilian areas, both of which should surely be against your humanitarian principles but for some reason are not. Why? If human rights violations against Jews are unimportant to you, what about the numerous human rights violations Hamas perpetrate against their own people?

    You say in your letter, ‘human rights violations, illegal colonization of occupied land’. Can we please look more closely at that statement. Instead of trotting out this trendy phrase, please give me specific, independently corroborated (not unsubstantiated pronouncements and doctored photographs aka the famous ‘Pallywood’ school of film and propaganda) examples of human rights violations by Israel. Stopping and checking people at check points is not a human rights violation unless you consider it a human rights violation to ensure that people who wish to blow up Israeli citizens are stopped from doing so. Personally, I do not. The Arabs living in the West Bank have access to higher standards of health and education and are economically more prosperous than most of their counterparts in other Muslim countries. Do you know that the biggest health problem in Gaza is obesity? In case you haven’t noticed, Israel unilaterally withdrew from Gaza so any human rights violations there (of which there are many) are down to the Hamas government not Israel. Did you know that there is a fuel crisis in Gaza because Hamas refuses to allow fuel from Israel to be imported into the territory and insists on the fuel from Egypt being imported through a particular crossing so that they can levy taxes on it? This is how much Hamas cares for its own people.

    Let us take the second part of your erroneous statement. I really feel it would be useful for you to learn some historical context and as you seem so woefully ignorant of it, I will spell it out for you. Right from the start it is important to stress that there is not nor has there ever been, a sovereign independent Muslim state of Palestine. (Interestingly, the Arabs themselves did not start to refer to that area as Palestine until after 1967, pre-1948 Palestinians referred to the Jews living there). The disputed area of the West Bank was land that was mandated to Israel under the 1947 UN Partition Plan. Jordan unilaterally annexed it in 1948 together with the Old City of Jerusalem which had been declared an international city. All the Jewish residents that had not been massacred were expelled from those areas, Jewish holy places were desecrated or destroyed and no Jew was allowed into those areas for over 19 years. A wall was built by the Jordanians dividing the city of Jerusalem. You are unaware of this? Why am I not surprised, you only accept one side of the narrative and do not wish to accept that there could be another side to that narrative.

    In 1967 Israel faced the very real threat of extermination by the combined forces of Egypt, Syria and Jordan. In fact they begged Jordan not to enter the war but King Hussein was convinced by Nasser’s lies that Tel Aviv was on fire (remember this was in the days before instant news coverage) and to his subsequent great misfortune joined forces with Nasser. That was when the West Bank and Jerusalem came under Israeli jurisdiction. Under the terms of international law, lands captured in a defensive war belong to the victor. So Israel does not occupy any sovereign state of ‘Palestine’ nor is there anything illegal about towns built on land legally and legitimately purchased from the owners of the title of that land. I am sure you will be surprised when I tell you the amount of land you believe has been ‘colonized’ by Israel? It is 0.1% of land in the West Bank and is on land that under any future deal will come under Israeli jurisdiction.

    There is another aspect to your downright nasty and disingenuous call for a boycott. As Jews we remember another boycott started in 1933 in another country, when ugly mobs stood outside Jewish shops and Jewish performers were barred from performing. We all know how that ended. Tell me what is the difference between you and those previous groups calling for expulsion of Jewish performers? From where I am standing as an English Jew, they are one and the same. In fact so poisonous has the atmosphere become in this country for Jews who support Israel that I, who am a descendant of Spanish Jews who fled persecution and found a safe haven in the United Kingdom, now feel uneasy at the long term future for Jews here. Does that concern you? If not, it should. Remember the persecution of the Jews in Germany was incremental and took place over a number of years; however, within eight years of the Nazis coming to power such was the ferocity of their campaign that they were able to convince themselves and others that it was perfectly acceptable to go from demonisation and exclusion to murdering Jews. The most frightening development of that persecution was how the intelligentsia, the academics, the legal circles etc brought into that campaign in much the same way as you and your cronies are buying into the current ferocious BDS (blame, distortion and slander) campaign that demonises and delegitimises Israel and questions her very right to exist. I cannot understand how someone who professes to stand up for human rights can align themselves with a campaign of annihilation of a nation state which is precisely what you are doing by supporting the BDS. So intense is this anti-Israel demonisation that when a gunman executes three Jewish children in cold blood, his rationalisation that he is avenging the deaths of Palestinian children is given legitimacy in the main stream media and among ‘enlightened’ thinkers.

    I will not at this stage list the incredible humanitarian work that Israel does in the world arena, it would be far too exhaustive, but as someone who is involved with refugee projects, you might be interested to know that Muslims fleeing genocide in Sudan and Darfur risk everything to get to Israel where they know they will be safer than in any of the other surrounding Muslim countries. The Egyptians shoot them, Israel provides them with a haven, currently they are building a purpose built facility for them.

    I would urge you in the name of British fair play, to gain a deeper knowledge of the conflict and understand just how misguided and deeply offensive you are being in calling for this boycott.

    I look forward to your comments.

    Ruth Leveson

    Hebrew Modern or Biblical teacher
    Based in London, United Kingdom

  102. I posted the following to WordPress (my blog host) support, about an hour ago . . .

    I reckon I am not the only one, but the stats have gone haywire: I jumped from 410,00 to 460,000 virtually overnight!

    Mike
    https://melchettmike.wordpress.com/

    I have just received the following reply . . .

    Hi,

    Congratulations!

    I took a look at your stats, and that jump was quite normal, and I expect it to rise over the next few days.

    You had 34,908 views yesterday!

    33,822 of those came in through an image search for “cynthia nixon married” and wound up on https://melchettmike.wordpress.com/mook-of-the-month/

    According to some searches (I just don’t follow celebrity gossip, too much drama), it looks like Cynthia Nixon married her long-time partner on May 29.

    So far today, you have 7,889 views, so I expect the trend to continue for the next few days.

    Enjoy your new readers! 🙂

    James | WordPress.com and IntenseDebate

    My previous busiest day, in 3 and a half years of blogging, was around 1,500 views/”hits” during the height of Hasmo Legends.

    Good ole Cynthia Nixon – mook in September 2010 – is all that I can say . . . and yes, John Fisher, it does count! 😉

  103. John Fisher

    Celebrity same-sex marriage. Congratulations. I heard Rupert Murdoch is interested in making you an offer.

  104. An early winner this month . . .

  105. Jonathan Rose

    This seriously pisses me off!! I can’t stand it when the one opportunity the LGBT community has to raise their profile is interspersed with this kind of bollox. It just doesn’t have a place at a Gay Pride. If the point were that Palestinian Queers were fighting for equality I would embrace that, but the apartheid tshirt carries a completely different political agenda creating the concept that the Palestinian Queer has his life suppressed because of Israel! You have your own rallies for that so go take your banners, tshirt and freebie round stickers somewhere else. Don’t be an opportunist by gatecrashing Pride!! I seriously would like to see groups like this banned from Pride in the future. It would make the event so much more pleasant. Yes to freedom of speech, but not on our patch! Can you see a bunch of drag queens standing in between protesting men and bin bags (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=325711334186147&set=a.168725219884760.40381.168372346586714&type=1&theater) during their marches??

  106. I didn’t realise that you are allowed to call these people “Queers”. Are there any other previously taboo names that have been rehabilitated?

  107. 1. It is sometimes (as here) how they refer to themselves.

    2. “These people”? Has your mayor also now outlawed the word “gay”?!

  108. John Fisher

    In a flagrantly brilliant piece of electioneering our Mayor had these people directed into a city car park obviating the need to pervert traffic from Rechov Achuza to various side streets.

    Prior to the rerouting of the parade it was rumoured that Raanana was preparing to twin with Lesbos, Greece in honour of the occasion and rename our main street Queer Street for one day only.

  109. John Fisher

    Mike

    I probably owe your and the liberal establishment (of which, as you know, I am a paid-up member) an explanation for my facetiousness above (and elsewhere in a recent comment) . . .

    Where Gays are concerned there is a need for a clear distinction between discrimination and pride. In the modern world, secular or religious, there is no room for discrimination. Nobody should be discriminated against on the basis of colour, creed, sexual preference or football team (unless they support Chelsea).

    But pride in being Gay is something else. You do not have to be married to religious dogma to recognise that homosexuality is not mainstream. In purely Darwinian terms sexual attraction is connected to survival of the species – that takes a male and a female.

    As regards gay marriage, at the anthropological level, once the next generation of the species has been guaranteed, the family unit is clearly an answer to the plight of the utterly vulnerable man-cub who takes an inordinate amount of time to achieve independence. So there is no logic in same-sex marriage – an institution that essentially is there to protect the offspring of male/female liaisons. Indeed, as the late lamented Chaim Bermant, a noted liberal who used to enjoy several pints at my local, once approximately wrote in the Jewish Chronicle “A man cannot marry a man because a man cannot marry a man”.

    So what exactly do Gays have to be proud of? If they were to march against discrimination I would consider marching with them. But these crazy Gay Pride Parades just make them look like caricatures of themselves.

  110. “In purely Darwinian terms sexual attraction is connected to survival of the species . . .”

    I wish I could attribute my leching over a lovely (early) 20-something waitress in Jerusalem, this afternoon, to any purpose as lofty as that . . . when I was merely attempting to visualise the contents of her tube top and Levi’s shorts.

    PS It is the café at the top of Shatz, if any fellow pervs fancy some very good coffee . . . and even better oggling!

  111. John Fisher – “You do not have to be married to religious dogma to recognise that homosexuality is not mainstream.”

    Here you demonstrate the irrelevance of the position you present that follows this statement and perhaps serve to augment the other side’s argument.

    Not being mainstream is not a reason not to be proud. There is another group to which you belong – Jews – and another even smaller group of which you are also a member – Orthodox Jews – who feel and display pride in many different ways. In fact, one of the reasons of wearing a kippah is to differentiate yourself from your surroundings – pride.

    I would go one step further and maintain that pride is in a big way a byproduct of NOT being mainstream. I am not suggesting that you are not proud of being Jewish, but don’t you think that part of your pride stems form the very fact that you are part of a minority and hence part of your feeling of pride is actually a defence mechanism of being a minority (the chip on our shoulder)?

    So in the instance of the gay community, i would think that they are not only (maybe even not at all) expressing pride in the fact that they are of a sexual orientation that is not mainstream but more that they are able to express their orientation in public and not have to suppress their own existence.

  112. John Fisher

    Rafi

    To wildly misquote that Homosexual Extraordinaire – Mr Oscar Wilde:

    “A homosexual is just a homosexual but a Jew is: the embodiment of the foundation of monotheism; the torch-bearer of western morality; the classic example of survival and flourishing against all the odds; the biggest per-capita contributor to the advances of the modern world…..”

    I rest my case.

  113. Oh come on John, I really thought you could do better than that!

  114. John Fisher

    How kind of you to think so.

  115. John Fisher

    My conscience keeps getting the better of my facetiousness lately. So Rafi, here is an answer to your headlights blazing attempt to run me over.

    The first chapter of Orchot Tzadikim deals with Gaava (pride). There are two types of pride and both are out of bounds in Jewish thought. The first is pride in one’s body. An example is brought from Masechet Avoda Zara involving a young lady of whom sixties crooner Andy Williams may have been thinking when he tunefully whispered “I like the way that you walk by, I like the way you swing your eye” which has got to be up there with Frank Sinatra’s My Way as among the worst lyrics in history. The other type is pride in one’s actions.

    Interestingly, consideration is not, TTBOMK, given in Judaism to the Pride that LGBTs (and, possibly, you – if you have an explanatory wind behind you) are referring to – simply pride in belonging to something. Full stop.

    The nearest I found to this was Professor Leibovitch (can someone get the defibrillator for Osher Baddiel) in parshat Korach. He notes the smichut of the story of the Korach rebellion to the parsha of Tztizit (third paragraph of the Shema) which is next door in the Torah. Korach says that all the people ARE holy. In the Shema it says you SHOULD BE holy. One requires no effort, the other does. One brought disaster to its advocates. One will bring eternal life.

    Although this form of pride is very prevalent in the modern world where effort is for the other guy – it is absolute anathema to me. It is of the same ilk as the sort of empty national pride that heaped disaster on the world in the twentieth century.

    I am, indeed, proud of being Jewish – but it is a pride that comes from being associated with a group with arguably the greatest spiritual and material achievements in history. I have not managed to fathom whether there is any objection in Judaism to this kind of pride – which only gives credit to others.
    Perhaps Mr Chalk would like to put my mind at rest (or otherwise).

    In the meantime Gay Pride is an unacceptable nonsense in my book. And, Rafi, my use of the word “mainstream” should have been understood by you as a euphemism (Mike – shouldn’t that be AN EUPHEMISM – where is Ivan Marks when I need him?)

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