Allegedly . . .
https://www.filmibeat.com/music/international/2009/madonna-dumps-luz-moses-200409.html
Moishe Schimmel was a pupil at Hasmonean Grammar School for Boys between 1975 and 1982.
Next on Hasmo Legends, Part X: Mad Dogs and English Teachers
melchett mike 
I cannot believe what I have just read … Moishe Schimmel the Frummer who sat in front of me in class … if I can remember rightly next to Meier Maslow … or was it Rafi Bude … is alleged to be dating a Shikse … oy vey!
Mr Joughin used to constantly say to him “Schimmel, leave the apparatus alone” as he was always fiddling around with the Science apparatus before he was supposed to … amazing what silly things people remember all those years on!
I remember him from even earlier than Hasmo as we went to primary school together. My main impression of him was one of coolness, togetherness and general self confidence. This was someone in control.
Moishe Schimmel. 1F, 2BL, 3P, 4K, 5JO. From the Schimmel property dynasty. He is a good guy who will probably not be asked to lein Maftir Yona at Munks this year.
Perhaps our Moishe still can’t help “fiddling around with the apparatus”. And what I’d really like to know is whether he has been able to “get into the groove”.
If he has, he should get Haftorah as well! 😉
More importantly, what exactly does Moishe Schimmel see in the multi-millionairess Madonna?
More importantly which restaurant now provides Hermolis meals or did he just eat sushi??
Uri, why did you not mention the Bedknobs and Broomsticks film you shared on your 9th birthday with Moishe…??
To be truthful, Moishe is a great guy and I am sure he has a valid excuse…it is just that we Hasmos love to look on the dark side (or funny side) and of course love gossip…
Ivan, even if the story is true, why should Moishe need an “excuse”?! Madonna is one of the most famous, successful and richest – not to say sexy – women in history. He hasn’t picked up some scrubber from West Hendon Broadway!
To be honest, I think it would be a complete nightmare to date someone like madonna on so many levels. At first it may sound exciting. But she must be completely nuts. Mass fame literally makes people crazy. It is so profoundly intrusive that you simply have no chance of remembering who you are – you have to keep on playing to the public. The press end up being completely out to get you and anyone involved with you. We used to work with Alexandra Burke in the band so I know her a bit. The minute she won x factor, the News of the world went around bribing people she knew to get some dirt on her. Imagine that 100 times over with madonna. If the allegations are true, imagine what his kids are going through! But, although I really dont do gossip, it is a real classic. Ex-Reb Chunas boy allegedly with Madonna! What would Reb Chuna say?!
Mike – did you just call Madonna sexy? urgh
Danny Shine – How are you doing boychik.
I find it hard to believe that you have the audacity to say that Madonna is completely nuts.
To be completely nuts she would have to have been at the G20 demonstration with a sign saying “the beginning is nigh”.
I am sure Rav Chuna has been on the blower to Reb Moishe asking to set up a rendevous with this Kabbalistic wonder.
funny Mike I had heard that they did meet in “Broadway” (not as many popadums there!) ……..actually I think that Moshe may beat Madonna in to the ground when it comes to wealth, as he may not be good avoiding paparazi but he makes up for it in his chosen way of making money….
Well – if I had a wife like the one Danny Shine married – I also wouldn’t think it would be a big deal to date Madonna
Is he going over to Malawi to help with the appeal?
Given the history of at least one of reb chuna’s progeny, I doubt he would have very much to say on this particular subject.
And in anycase she is called Esther now. 🙂
If there was a prize for the best or worst comment to a blog David Barnett just one it. Moishe has been the subject of a lot of loshon hora these past months, but this beats it all. Any newspaper that can call Moishe Schimmel, Moses or Abraham or Marc clearly is up the twist. But still, nothing really matters if it’s a love profusion.
I’ve personally never met anyone’s wife to make a comparison but to call mass media coverage of a laiason with a Shiksa – Loshon Horah actually borders more on the ludicrous than any silly insult. Whats more, the man does’nt seem to be denying it either. Perhaps we are all just a little envious. I know that dating a blond, (this month), with money, a plane, and the ability to keep me in a lifestyle that all would relish is something that we all aspired to when younger but now we must live in the reality of our existences. Rock on Moishe!!!!
Oh yee of little faith!
How can’t you see whats really happening ? Moishe dating Esther is really a kabalistic tikun to bring the moshiach quicker (See the Mei Shiloach on Parshat Pinchas) , no doubt thought up by Reb Chunna or as a product of our toirah-true hasmo education (which gave us a firm understanding of kabbalistic ideas, especially after hearing Mr Payley’s Golem of Prague stories).
Wasn’t the last jew to date the Madonna called Joseph?
Barnett, “if [you] had a wife like the one Danny Shine married” . . . you’d be married to your sister, you filthy pervert! 😉
Yes but if he was married to his sister, then i wouldnt have to be!!
I have spoken to Reb Chuna. He says he is not mekabel that someone from the holy Schimmel family (and he’s not just calling them holy because they have money) would never even talk to a shiksa let alone to ‘Mezana’ as he calls her. Maariv anyone?
I think David’s love for his sister is very beautiful, like a Greek tragedy. And Danny do I sense some professional rivalry with Madonna? Should have worn the pointy bras (over your shirt).
Finally David Bright, bloody hell its been n’years!!!!!
David
I think it safe the next time your sister comes to Israel that she stays with us……..don’t want any problems……..(sorry we do not have a sauna or jacuzzi!)
This could lead to mixed dancing or worse!!!
OK – enough about my sister – lets get back to the Betulah that was kissed for the very first time!!!
Hi Jeremy. Yes about 27 years or so….bloody hell indeedy…
Poor Madonna, Esther or whatever her kabblistic pseudonym is this week. I think it is a shame that she couldnt find a lawyer like all good Jewish girls want…. that way she could get free legal advice on her adoption problem….
Maybe when she fell of the horse last week she bumped her head…
Amazed about Madonna and Moishe Schimmel. Did he meet her at the Kaballa centre? Perhaps she could become a patron of Hasmonean.
Tony Pearce
Hello you ex-Hasmo people. I am amazed that a graduate of this bastion of secondary education feels confident enough to move in Madonna’s gentrified circles (yeah right) – we are all probably a teeny bit jealous of him.
I am shamelessly walking in Mike’s footsteps, and totally copying his brilliant idea for Hasmo blog posts.
I am looking for HASMO GIRLS stories that i can share on my blog. We had a right laugh during my years there (1983-89).
So please, girls, share your stories with me at HadassahSabo at gmail dot com
Thanks Mike – I owe you one!
Just in from a friend of mine at the BBC. Moishe will be hosting a new TV series using his new contacts to set up any ex-Hasmo boys with a dream date with their favorite A-List celebrity ……the show is called SCHIMMEL FIX IT.
Mark (Wagner),
At an ex-Hasmo boys’ breakfast in Tel Aviv, this morning – where we we were discussing our Moishe – the name of another ex-Hasmo boy, who you know well, came up in relation to another American showbiz celebrity.
Are you at liberty to confirm or deny?
We shan’t leave a stone unturned . . .
Mike
“We shan’t leave a stone unturned . . .”
What House at Hasmo was this gentleman in? My guess, he was in Sharon.
Engel – that’s an easy one. He hails from Kenton. Any other Hasmo legends strike lucky in Hollywood? (It doesn’t matter if the maideleh’s not Jewish if she’s FAMOUS….didn’t you study THAT in JS?)
I used to see “Page 3 girl” Jo Guest with another ex-Hasmo boy – of Persian origin – in that dodgy snooker bar under the railway bridge (opposite Carmeli’s), on Golders Green Road. And even though I am terribly offended by pornography (a shocking exploitation of women), she was really sweet. And she had lovely t*ts. 😉
It’s not really for me to confirm or deny that my brother-in-law, David Faigenblum, ‘stepped out’ with Sharon Stone for about 6 months some time ago. We were, of course, all very excited. The Majestic in Willesden had been booked and it’s famous brown carpet steam cleaned for the first time this century. I will leave him to ‘fill in’ all the gory details (see Basic Instinct for confirmation).
The royal majestic has accumulated some of the finest kosher chicken and beef stains anybody could want for. I will not have you slagging off one of my frequent work places.
Thank you, Mark. Very decent of you not to name names and/or “confirm or deny”. 😉
The question on every frustrated ex-Hasmo boy’s lips (no pun intended) must be “What was it like ‘filling in’ those ‘details’?” (puns most definitely intended!)
I know that I, for one, would be happy to pay for a detailed description . . .
I would just like to thank all you ex-Hasmo boychiks for the tears of laughter streaming down my face. Loved my compatriot Shimon Soester’s comments on Esther and the Moshiach. Chag Sameach to one and all – and don’t forget those Yomei Haatzmaut Riots – driving thro the playground etc? I know all about these stories as 4 out of my 6 brothers went there, one just walked in as IF he went there, my step-daddy went there in the days when they had MIXED Hasmo holiday camps and MIXED DANCING! (DISGUSTING!) and my mummy taught there…and was probably one of the best liked (least written about) teachers….but only for about 6 years and then had to escape to Israel.
Chag Sameach and keep up the hilarity.
Is this the same Schimmel that has a sister Hayley?
Don’t tell me, Hadassah . . . Hayley used to date “Ozzy” Osbourne?!
Apologies to Mr Shine for besmirching his beloved venue. My brother-in-law has remained extremely tight lipped about the subject. Every possible pun intended.
Btw: is it just me or is any one else slightly peturbed about females commenting on this blog? Go away and buy some shoes!!!!
I wasnt aware that this was a men only forum…. Personally I never had an issue with listening or reading a females point of view.
As for The Majestic issue….my previous comment was removed.. so all I will say is that those of us who remember it as a child are pleased to note that it hasnt changed.
Mark – just because you seem to have picked up misogynistic tendencies, don’t come here and show your ignorance and intolerance. I have just as much to offer on any of these subjects as any man.
David – thanks.
Mike – you gonna weigh in here?
What do the likes of Madonna , Sharon Stone & Jo Guest see in Hasmo boys? Were they all in yeshiva stream? Then it would be a case of once youve tried black….
You are welcome hadassah…. I do like a woman with literary articulation…..and besides not many people know what misogynistic means…lol
Re. Mark Wagner’s comment – I have info….but am sorry, can’t respond as I’m a woman and must just DASH out and buy yet ANOTHER pair of shoes! NAWT! (Mark – weren’t you my Toranut man at Gimmel Machane – the one most of the gals had a massive crush on?!) Mr Shine – Maybe YOUR wife spends all her time and money on shoes – but some of us women enjoy spending quality time on Mike’s blog. Don’t like it? Go join a Yeshiva Stream blog! (p.s. your younger brother is much more tolerant….)
Hi Nadia, yes it’s me. How are you sugar – its been a long long time. You were always lovely and great fun. What are you up to?
Hadassah – relax, I’m only expressing the thoughts of about 200 male ex hasmo bloggers. Except of course that well know lothario David Bright. Misogynist – moi?
mark – wait a sec – they elected you to speak for them when they are all obviously so much more eloquent than you? i think NOT! (and are there 200 hasmo blogs out there, or are you referring to the commenters? – big difference)
Yes, Hadassah, I am “gonna weigh in here” . . . why are you birds always so sensitive?!
Mark’s “ignorance and intolerance” is more than welcome on melchett mike, especially when amusing . . . in fact, it is only political correctness that is forbidden here (see About this Blog).
And, as for you Mr. Bright, nice to hear from you after all these years . . . especially when you are doing such excellent “Del Boy” impersonations: “I do like a woman with literary articulation…..”
😉
ooh it has been forever since i was called a “bird”!!
Sorry Hadassah – I still contend that women don’t really have much to contribute to this particularly amusing and wonderfully written blog – how could they?!! Please don’t get your knickers in a twist. I am confident I speak for absolutely every man in the world on this one. Kiss Kiss x
Bird causing all the trouble, I have been asked to ascertain whether “Hadassah” is, indeed, your real name . . . and not “Catherine Tate”?
And David (Bright), seeing as my original post was on an ex-Hasmo in the public eye, I am informed that you were too a while back. Would you care to share with us? And, perhaps, even pen your own Hasmo Legends post on your experiences (perhaps a joint effort with Mr. Feigenbaum)?
Or would you rather not wash your dirty “laundry” on melchett mike?
well, you guys don’t believe that my brother Itzy Sabo is real either, so maybe we are a family of pseudonyms…..
😉
(it’s ok – nobody believes that two hasmo graduates (boys and girls schools) can write english in a coherent fashion, and them being related just stretches it even more….I get it)
totally enjoying the laughs…..
Haddasah
Its not that we dont beleive your brother is Itzy, however we really beleive the person that was at the table was not your brother but a spy placed there by the nefarious melchett.
We have so far asertained that failed to introduce himself (probably in fear of being sussed) is an ex playing fish caled sabo shaboot.
😉
Mike although my experiences at her majesties pleasure , in her finest one star establishments,
may be of great interest to the penal reform board, I somehow doubt nice frum boys such as ourselves will take much interest. 🙂
“We have so far asertained that failed to introduce himself (probably in fear of being sussed) is an ex playing fish caled sabo shaboot.”
To quote a certain AH Bloomberg, “What is he dribbling about?!”
read previous posts in about me. your losing the plot
I didn’t understand those either!
I think that you, Nick and Daniel have your own secret language, carefully honed during detentions at Hasmo, and intelligible only to the three of you. (In fact, after meeting Daniel for the first time, on Saturday night, I think that he also has a secret language intelligible only to him!)
“An ex playing fish caled sabo shaboot”, indeed!!
Mike:
I dare not even begin to assume that my un-newsworthy story from many years ago could live up to the same standard of news that your insightfull divulgance offers….. (del boy indeed!)
I do however stand humbled at the prospect of you holding me in the same papperazzi filled light as the likes of Madonna, Mr Schimmel and yes even Mrs Goide, but to name a few….
I shall watch with increased fervor as the banter continues and have firmly ensconced this blog in to my daily routine as it becomes a true pleasure to watch ‘allegedly’ mature adults discuss the parameters of the impossible.
According to The Londoner on Monday, Madonna is back in the company of Jesus and I guess that puts to bed the machinations that followed previously and on what this whole initial blog was based…..
I agree with hadassah wholeheartedly that women should be allowed to voice thier opinions in this and any other previously dominated male forum. So far by my reckoning her arguments are far more interesting than the limp replies…
Kudos to Ellis on very aptly phrasing in a short few words a most eloquent way to tell someone to get stuffed….
Oh, come on, David . . . you don’t need Ellis to tell me “to get stuffed”!
It’s just that never has the contents of a Hasmo briefcase held so much interest since speculation about the presence of a bottle of Scotch in Woody’s!
Sadly Mike I must for the moment stop you in your tracks. I can tell you that a couple of years ago I was offered the opportunity to pen a publication concerning certain historical matters from eons ago that would end ridiculous speculation while at the same time bring to bare certain sad, painfull and in some cases humorous experiences.
It is because of that agreement and the ongoing efforts that are almost completed that I am bound by an exclusivity and contractual understanding that prevents me from talking about anything. It is my understanding that slated for early next year is the release of the very literary briefcase you seek to open.
As for its contents…..as they say in the USA…it will be a humdinger…
Now… getting back to the reality of Woody, the whiskey and other pecadillos of staff members…..
I have fond memories of sitting on the balcony in the Art Room smoking various herbs and forbidden matters while in the process of attempting to get a gcse in the subject…. I never was very good at painting but those lessons learned in the school of hard nocks of our time offered by that wonderful teacher were more than any grade could guarantee me…
Then of course there were the poker games in the tuck shop behind the stage during lesson time….it may very well have been those initial forays in to the world of cards that cemented my ability to play the game to this day. I do love a good game of Texas.
I often see Lionel Finklestein (goat features still in tact), in Bushey and one cannot help but get the urge to find some grass or hay for him to munch on.
As for me needing someone else to tell you to get stuffed.. you are mistaken and did not understand my prior post. I was congratulating him rather than expressing my own desire to be rid of you. I would never be so polite!
Point taken, David. Good on you for taking my provocations in such good spirit!
The whole story of Schimmel and Madonna was never true as evidenced by the fact that there were never any pictures of them together despite having “had a string of dates in London” and as David Bright has now pointed out, Madonna and Jesus are still together.
Hardly “evidence”, Danny . . . though, yes, they are allegations.
What David Bright actually wrote was that “According to The Londoner on Monday, Madonna is BACK in the company of Jesus.”
That’s according to The Londoner.
“Evidence”? What evidence is there about this whole story to start with, and everyone believes it as truth.
It’s amazing, when there is an allegation of something bad, no evidence is required and everyone swallows it whole, but when someone challenges it, they need evidence!
Mike:
Over the years I have learned to take most of the stuff thrown (and quite a lot of it I might add), with a pinch of salt.
As for proof of the Madonna reverting back to Jesus issus. Unlike the picture of Mr Shimmel that was of him sitting in a car sans the material girl, The Londoner had a picture of the her, Jesus and a child. Stretching the allegations of impropriety is one thing but photographic evidence can only be refuted by the parties involved.
Mr Shimmel need not reply simply as was previously pointed out that sitting in a car cannot on any level be construed as having illicit intentions.
However, I look forward to reading madonna’s reply to this post, under the assumption that her toy boy is precluded from writing due to lack of ability, age restriction and religion….
Danny, you are a most illogical man. You are the one who mentioned “evidence”, no one else!
The first word of my post is “Allegedly”, and refers readers of melchett mike to a News of the World article. You are the one stating that “everyone believes it as truth” and “swallows it whole”.
Whilst your defence of Moishe is noble, if you expect ex-Hasmo boys not to be at least interested in allegations that one of their number is even friendly with an international superstar, then you are living in la-la land.
And if Moishe Schimmel considered that even merely fraternising with the likes of Madonna wouldn’t get tongues wagging in Golders Green, and beyond, then he is even more naive than you.
Moreover, you are also the one implying that this is “an allegation of something bad”. As I have already made clear, even if the allegations are true, I would not dream of judging Moishe . . . in fact I would congratulate him on achieving what most red-blooded men can only dream of!
I mentioned evidence and you challenged it, so I responded. Reading the comments above show that the people writing them believe the story as fact. It is important to point out that it is rubbish.
I don’t believe that he even fraternised with her as you state.
And finally if you dream of going out with a 50 year old ugly shiksa, then I feel sorry for you. Most red blooded men would avoid her like the plague.
Time Gentlemen please!!!
If as is my understanding that the whole blog is in itself a wind up then why are people getting so hot under the collar about it.
‘a 50 year old ugly shiksa’.
It is mystifyingly predictable that we all get just a little jealous at the impossible. To accuse someone who in her hey day was one of the most beautiful women of our time, to now being ugly is a bit of a stretch. Yes, plastic surgery and a few turns around the block have not helped her but the truth is that like all women of her age, some do and some dont age gracefully.
In this shiksa’s case, she has not exactly slowed down, nor has she been kind to herself. Nevertheless, in the same light, most women her age also slap on the paste to levels of nauseum. In Madonna’s case the end result is not bad at all.
The reality of a situation like this suggests that in Mike posting his blog in the first place, he was just showing what all of us have thought about since seeing the connection in the News of the World.
For those of us who have touched the periphery of the big world out there, it can be very enticing.
Id be the first to say that I am happily married, (albeit for the 2nd time), with four wonderful kids. It would be a lie to say that in another life, another world and faced with other opportunities, I wouldn’t grab the chance to date a woman who can look as good as Madonna at her age, has money on the levels that she does and then can keep me in the lifestyle that I aspire to achieve.
maybe all that 40+ ex-hasmos have on their mind is……. learning Kabbalah
I’m guessing that MOST of you ex hasmo boys would NEVER be able to keep up with 50% of her fitness levels….especially if Chich’s PE lessons are anything to go by….
Okay, Danny, if it makes you feel more comfortable in your small little world, Moishe has never even heard of Madonna.
As for “a 50 year old ugly shiksa”, did your missus look even a tenth as good as Madonna when you married her . . . never mind at 50?! I thought not.
Sounds like you need to get out of NW11 a little more, Danny . . . and even, dare I say it, perhaps try a “shiksa” yourself! They don’t bite (unless you ask nicely).
In a similar vein, there was an article last week in the Daily Sport (at last my subscription since first form pays dividends) reporting a school teacher who splits her time between school and directing porn.
Her current employer?
I think you can all guess.
Nadine…. Well done you… I myself am guilty of having had unused health club memberships. I love to sit, watch others and then drink cappucino as I get over the tired effect it has.
Mike.. a little harsh on the wife bashing…. I do concur though that you dont know until you’ve tried it…and some of these bloggers need to get out a little more and sample the real world.
David – Moishe has more money than Madonna so doesn’t need her to “keep (him) in the lifestyle that (he) aspire to achieve” and her “hey day” has long since gone. Give her another few years and there is nothing left if in fact there still is anything now.
She has nothing to offer to a someone with a brain.
So, you’re still in with a shout then, Danny! 😉
If the whole Moishe-Madonna story is true (because the News Of The World always get’s it’s facts correct….right?), I would be interested to know whether Guy Ritchie might use it as inspiration for his next movie.
Perhaps it could be called “Shockelrolla” or something like that.
Met Moishe on a plane last week and it is clear he has known Madonna for years and that according to him this has all been blown out of proportion!! If it is true where are the pictures of them holding hands, kissing etc?
I repeat my earlier comment about Moishe always being a gentleman and his silence on this proves that his friendship with the said lady is real and does not necessarily have sexual connotations!
Bloody hell, Ivan . . .
Moishe always seemed a mensch to me, and I am sure that he is indeed a jolly good chap.
And I have no idea whether or not he has shagged Madonna (I suspect that only he and “Esther” know the answer to that one).
But . . .
Why the hell do you seem to be hoping that he hasn’t?!
What has “being a gentleman” got anything to do with it?!
And how exactly does “his silence on this prove that his friendship . . . is real and does not necessarily have sexual connotations”?!
Hi Ivan,
Can you confirm to me exactly who was ‘blown out of proportion’ – and did this take place on the plane or in the terminal?
Mike, maybe it is my years of working in the Courts in UK and now years of working in Israel that makes me cynical of anything I read in the press! I was not suggesting that Moishe had or had not had sex with her but was just offering a genuine insight into Moishe other than the rubbish that we often read in the press….in truth I hope he has had a great relationship with her, in or out of bed, and in true jewish style my wife wants to know if she will be using her apartment in ny in the summer as we may want to do a house swap?? Not sure if I would have the guts to ask.
Mark W, pleased to see your humour has not changed over the years! It was BMI so I am not sure anybody wanted to be noticed or even ‘blown’!! Next time El Al I promise.
Wagner…….
I am appalled…… not as you well know, by your comments on gals blogging the site (as per our conversation last week in Metz Su Yan, where you emptied the restaurant within seconds of getting there with rather loud obsenities about crying babies ) but that it took me 3 minutes and 40 seconds (and at least 7 scroll downs) to find your first moan ….what’s going on there mate???
Shine …. how has fame affected you??? Dare I mention antics at Speakers Corner on a Sunday morning??
Mike, cracking site….Wagner, I succumbed in the end.
Not since a former classmate of mine successfully penetrated the Hollywood social scene in the ’90s, has a Hasmo boy been named in the same breath as a world-famous personality. Our reaction to the news then, was a mix of wonderment and jealousy.
Judging by some of the later posts here, one would have thought that Mr. Schimmel’s sexual virtue was as precious as that of the original Virgin Mary. I was expecting the blog to be full of gags about Moses and burning bush rather than how much of a gentleman he is or how much of a brainless shiksa she has to be.
I am sure that Mr. Schimmel is behaving with the utmost courtesy towards the veteran Pop idol and if he is not, then he wont be the first ex-Hasmo boy, accused by the press, of screwing the Goyim.
Finally, some common sense. Thank you, Josh!
Check this out, Hebrew readers: from this morning’s Calcalist, an entire feature on our Moishe (with a link to melchett mike in the final paragraph) . . .
http://www.calcalist.co.il/local/articles/0,7340,L-3515203,00.html
Here is the Google translate (“and turns with Madonna”!) version.
30 years on, you guys still worry me. Moshie was a nice and very much together boy. Unlike most of the rest of us. Good to see nothing has really changed.